


Stucky Prompts and AUs (oneshots)

by the_fault_in_our_stucky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Winter Soldier (Comics)
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - Ballet, Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Flower Shop, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Princess Bride Fusion, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Alternate Universe - Royalty, Alternate Universe - Sleeping Beauty Fusion, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist Steve Rogers, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bottom Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Friendship, Bucky Barnes Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes Remembers, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Bucky Barnes-centric, Bucky doesn't become the winter soldier, Canon Divergence - Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Crimes & Criminals, Dancing in the Rain, Domestic Fluff, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, First Dates, First Kiss, First Meetings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Inspired by Disney, Love Confessions, Love at First Sight, M/M, Meet-Cute, Minor Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Minor Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Multi, Musician Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Never Have I Ever, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Omega Steve Rogers, One Night Stands, Past Bucky Barnes/Natasha Romanov, Past Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Princes & Princesses, Protective Steve Rogers, Rimming, Roommates, Self-Harm, Sharing a Bed, Shrunkyclunks, Sleeping Beauty Elements, Smut, Songfic, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Steve Rogers & Sam Wilson Friendship, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark Friendship, Steve Rogers Angst, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Steve Rogers-centric, Suicidal Thoughts, The Princess Bride References, Tony Angst, Tony Is Not Helping, Top Bucky Barnes, Top Steve Rogers, Voyeur Tony Stark, Voyeurism, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, based on an original song, inspired by Sleeping Beauty
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 20:45:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 31,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15081386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_fault_in_our_stucky/pseuds/the_fault_in_our_stucky
Summary: Lots of AUs, lots of Stucky, if you have any prompts or AUs you'd like to see, comment them or message me!





	1. I'm Gonna Break Your Little Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fake Dating AU  
> Lots of fluff, quite a bit of angst  
> I might make a second part to this, let me know if that's what you want!

Steve Rogers always dreaded dinner with his family. Not because they were rude or disrespectful, definitely not. He dreaded it because without fail, one of his aunts would ask him if he had a boyfriend yet. The answer was always no. This time, he decided, he would lie to them. Purely to get them off his back. He would tell them he'd found someone and that they were dating. It would be simple. Then, in a few weeks time, he could tell them they broke up but there are no hard feelings. That should get them off his case for a while, at least. It was a foolproof plan.

So that night at dinner, when his Aunt inevitably asked if he had a boyfriend, Steve told them that he did. He had hoped that would be the end of the conversation, but it most definitely was not.  
"What's his name?"  one Aunt asked.  
"Is he cute?"  one of Steve's cousins asked.  
"How long have you been dating?"  an Uncle asked.  
"When are we going to meet him?"  Steve's mother, Sarah, asked.  
"I'm terribly sorry, I need to use the bathroom,"  Steve said.  "I'll answer your questions in a moment. As soon as he got to the bathroom, he pulled his phone out of his back pocket and called his best friend, Sam.  
"Sam, I need a favour,"  Steve said.  
"What have you done now?"  Sam asked.  
"I told my family I'm dating someone, to get them off my back but now they're asking me all these questions and they want to meet him!"  Steve explained, starting to panic.  "Do you know any guys who wouldn't mind stepping in temporarily and being my date?"  
"I mean, I guess I could find one,"  Sam said.  "But it might take some time."  
"What's that in the background?"  Steve asked, after hearing someone curse.  
"My mate Bucky, he's staying the night,"  Sam said.  "Hold on, that's perfect!  I'll ask him and I'll text you details. "  
"Thanks Sam, you're a true pal," Steve said, before hanging up.

Steve had just sat back down at the dinner table, when his phone buzzed.  
**He's in.** **James Barnes, prefers Bucky, 26, rather cute in a shaggy sort of way, works at that new Italian place downtown.**  
Steve smiled to himself, before saying to his family, "His name is James, but he prefers to be called Bucky. He's 26 and he works at that new Italian place downtown. And yeah, he's really cute." Steve decided to go out on a limb, so he texted Sam.  
**Reckon he'd be okay with family dinner in a couple of weeks?**  
Within seconds, he got a reply.  
**Definitely! ;)** **\- B**  
"He's agreed to come to the next family dinner, actually!" Steve announced, before the conversation shifted once more.

A week flew by, and Steve had arranged to meet Bucky before the family dinner, to get their stories straight and run over the game plan. They decided to meet at a coffee shop not too far from Steve's apartment. Steve got there first, and sat waiting for Bucky as the minutes ticked by. He glanced around, scanning every face that walked by. A pretty blonde, a dull redhead, and the most beautiful brunette Steve had ever seen. The guy had shoulder length brown hair, beautiful brown eyes and a mesmerising smile.  Cute, in a shaggy sort of way.  It had to be Bucky.  Steve smiled at him and starting pulling at his sleeves.  He hadn't noticed how nervous he actually was until Bucky approached him. "Bucky Barnes, at your service.  I think I'm your date,"  he said, with an adorable new york accent.  
"Steve Rogers,"  Steve said, holding out his hand for Bucky to shake.  
"So, what's the drill?"  Bucky asked, planting a kiss on Steve's knuckle instead.  
"Dinner is at my mom's house, most of the family will be there.  It's fancy but not too fancy, and there'll be a lot of questions," Steve explained, trying not too blush.  
"What are our answers?"  Bucky asked.  "They gotta be the same."  
"We met at this coffee shop;  we've been dating for around 6 months, Sam introduced us, you asked me out officially and you kissed me first,"  Steve said.  "They probably won't ask much about us as a couple, but they'll ask you lots of questions about yourself."  
"What about kissing and hugging and stuff?"  Bucky asked, with a hopeful look in his eyes.  
"We can kiss and stuff, we need to make it convincing.  Not too much PDA though, it's my family! " Steve said. The pair then sat down for coffee, chatted and flirted for a few hours. Bucky was the first to leave, kissing Steve's cheek as he did so. Steve watched him leave and finally acknowledged the butterflies in his stomach. A thought crept into his mind, that maybe he had found someone after all.

Family dinner night came around far too quickly. Bucky had agreed to pick Steve up from his apartment, and Steve was pacing in the hallway, staring at the clock. When he finally heard a knock on the door, he practically raced to the door. Steve took one look at Bucky and he felt like he might faint. Bucky looked gorgeous, he was wearing black skinny jeans, a blue button down shirt and he had his hair pulled back into a ponytail.  
"You look incredible,"  Steve said.  
"So do you," Bucky replied, before taking Steve's hand and escorting him to the mini.

Steve's hands were shaking as Bucky knocked on Sarah's door.  
"Relax, babe," Bucky whispered in Steve's ear. " You got this. " Steve felt a warm fuzzy feeling fill him up, and flashed Bucky a smile.  Sarah opened the door and immediately pulled Steve into a tight hug.  
"I'm so thrilled for you, darling,"  she whispered in his ear.  
"Mom, this is Bucky.  Bucky, this is my mom, Sarah," Steve introduced.  
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Rogers," Bucky said, before being also being pulled into Sarah's embrace.  
"Call me Sarah," she told him. "Now, come and meet the rest of the family.

The family dinner went brilliantly, as far as Steve was concerned. His family all liked Bucky; Bucky seemed to like them, and Steve felt like he was falling more in love with Bucky with every passing second. Family dinner was over all too soon, which meant that Steve and Bucky would have to say goodbye. Bucky drove Steve back to his apartment, but just before bucky had a chance to leave, Steve leaned in and kissed the brunette. To his surprise, Bucky kissed back, and it felt like fireworks had exploded in Steve's stomach. Steve pulled Bucky inside and the two collapsed on Steve's couch, breathless.  
"You're brilliant,"  Steve whispered.  
"So are you,"  Bucky replied.  
"I think I'm falling in love with you,"  Steve admitted.  
"I think I'm falling in love with you too," Bucky confessed. Neither Steve nor Bucky had the energy to make it to the bedroom, so they both slept on Steve's couch.

The following morning, Steve woke up to find that Bucky had gone. He started to panic, wondering if he'd made a move far too soon and scared Bucky away. Steve clutched his phone and was about to text Bucky an apology when he noticed a note on his coffee table.  
_Dinner tonight, 7 pm, smart/casual. If you can't make it, call me xxx_  
Steve practically jumped for joy, he could barely believe he was going on a real date with Bucky. He had butterflies in his stomach for the whole day, waiting  for 7 pm to roll around. Eventually, it did, and Steve was a complete wreck. He was so nervous for his date with Bucky he hadn't even noticed the fact that Bucky had already knocked on the door twice and was making his way inside.  
  
"Hey, you ready?" Bucky asked, before noticing what Steve was wearing. "Wow...you look...wow." Steve was wearing extremely snug jeans, a black shirt and some sort of hat that Bucky didn't know the name of. He'd also styled his hair into a quiff and it almost made Bucky weak at the knees.  
"Is the hat too much? I can take it off," Steve suggested.  
"No, it's perfect," Bucky assured him. "I love it."  
"Where are we going?" Steve asked.  
"It's a surprise," Bucky said. "You'll love it, trust me." Steve pouted, but ultimately let the matter drop. The pair chatted in the car, but mostly fought over the AUX cable. Bucky wanted to listen to Queen, but Steve had other ideas.  
"We are not listening to this boyband trash!" Bucky complained.  
"You cannot call Fall Out Boy 'boyband trash'! It's disrespectful!" Steve argued. Eventually, they both decided to give up the AUX and turn the radio on. Fall Out Boy was playing, which caused Steve to do a mini victory dance in the car.  
  
The car pulled to a stop outside of a elegant restaurant with fairy lights strung over the entrance. Soothing, romantic music was playing ouside. When they got inside, Steve discovered that the restaurant was empty. Flowers were dangling from the ceiling, and it was the most breathtaking sight Steve had ever seen.  
"Do you like it?" Bucky asked.  
"Like it? Bucky I love it! How did you even..?" Steve asked.  
"I called in a favour," Bucky explained. "If you think this is good, you'll love the food." Bucky ordered something that Steve had never even heard of. He felt out of his depth, so he was incredibly relieved when Bucky ordered for him.  
"You looked lost, so I ordered you my favourite," Bucky explained. Their food looked and tasted delicious, and when the time came, Steve didn't want to leave. He simply didn't want the night to be over.  
"I had an amazing time," Steve said, after Bucky had driven him home.  
"So did I," Bucky replied, before kissing Steve on the cheek and leaving.  
  
Steve couldn't stop thinking about Bucky for the rest of the week. His silky brown hair and deep brown eyes invaded Steve's mind. He couldn't get the brunette off his mind. They texted each other every day and they called each other at night. By the end of the month, they'd been on almost a dozen dates to various different places. Steve could hardly believe he and Bucky had been officially dating for a month. It felt so surreal to him. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world.  
  
It was the 28th of June, and Steve and Bucky had been dating for 3 months. They were supposed to be going out for dinner, but Steve didn't feel well.  
**Babe, can you come over?** **I feel shitty xxx**  
_Of course, baby. I'll cancel tonight's reservation if you're not feeling well_ _xxx_  
**You're the best** **xxx**  
Steve smiled to himself, before putting his phone down. Within minutes, Bucky opened the door and sat down next to Steve. He leaned over and pressed a soft kiss to the blonde's forehead.  
"I love you, Bucky. I really love you," Steve confessed.  
"I love you too, Steve," Bucky sighed. Steve rested his head on Bucky's chest and began to fall asleep. Eventually, both boys were sleeping on Steve's couch, too tired to move.

The following morning, Steve woke up to find Bucky lying next to him, fast asleep.  
"Bucky," Steve whispered. " Bucky, you gotta get up! "  
"Don't wanna,"  Bucky mumbled.  
"You have to,"  Steve explained.  "We need to talk."  
"What about?"  Bucky asked.  
"About last night.  I told you I loved you and you said it back,"  Steve said.  
"The truth is, I never loved you.  I was only pretending, Steve,"  Bucky explained coldly.  
"I love you.  I love you, Bucky!  Why can't you love me back? " Steve cried.  
"Sorry Steve,"  Bucky said.  
"You broke my heart, and all you can say is sorry?!  And now you're leaving? " Steve cried.  
"I have to,"  Bucky said.  
"Please don't leave me," Steve begged.  "Stay, please."  
"Please just let me go," Bucky said.  "It'll be easier that way."  
"Okay, I understand," Steve said, with tears running down his face. "You can leave. Everyone else does, I'm used to it. "  
"Steve..."  Bucky started.  
"Leave!" Steve shouted. "Just leave!"  
"I'm sorry," Bucky said as he left.

Steve could only watch as the man he loved walked away from him. He was a fool for falling in love, and an even bigger fool for believing that Bucky might still come back. Without Bucky, it felt like there was a hole in the middle of Steve's world. He hadn't known Bucky for very long, but his heart ached for the brunette to come back. Steve had tried so hard to hold the tears back, but now that Bucky was gone he had no reason to anymore. He collapsed to the floor and began to sob. The tears kept flowing like a waterfall, and Steve didn't know what to do. Eventually, he decided that the best cure for a broken heart was whiskey, and lots of it. He wiped his eyes, grabbed his coat and made his way to the nearest bar. He was so desperate to forget everything that had happened he didn't notice Bucky's mini was still parked outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for any tears that may or may not have been shed. If you'd like a second part, let me know. Kudos is greatly appreciated!


	2. I'll Fix It For You Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a continuation of the previous chapter.  
> There's a lot of angst

Bucky regretted everything he said the second that he said it. The real truth was he was scared. He was feeling something for the first time in a long time, and it scared him. No, it terrified him. He was so scared of fucking things up farther down the line that he didn't consider Steve's feelings at the time. He'd just ended it without a second thought. He felt so stupid, he was such an idiot. He wanted to turn around, go back to Steve and make him listen. But Steve told him to leave, so Bucky left. The last thing he wanted was to make Steve more upset. A tear crept down Bucky's cheek. He didn't want to cry, he promised himself he wouldn't cry over another boy again, but Steve was different. Steve was special. He was beautiful, and funny, and kind. Steve was perfect. Bucky thought he didn't deserve someone like Steve. Steve was far too good for him. He deserved so much better. Bucky couldn't bear the thought of driving home alone. He knew that home wouldn't feel like home without Steve there, and he really didn't want to be alone. He'd probably do something stupid. So instead of going home, he walked to the nearest bar and decided to get absolutely hammered. He ordered four shots of vodka and told the bartender to keep them coming until he was sick, too drunk to stand or passed out.  
  
Steve practically collapsed when he got to the bar. The bartender approached, and Steve ordered whiskey on the rocks. Heartbreak drink. As soon as his drink arrived, he downed it and ordered another. While he waited for his next drink, Steve had time to think. He thought about Bucky, how much he missed him, and the things he'd give to do it all again. His chest ached with longing. He wanted to call Bucky, beg him to come back. Maybe he'd change his mind. Steve loved Bucky, he didn't think he'd ever stop loving Bucky. Bucky was so different from everyone else Steve had ever met. He was quirky; he could make Steve laugh; he gave good hugs; he made Steve feel completely safe. Steve began thinking that maybe Bucky was too good for him. Maybe he didn't deserve someone that perfect. He felt worthless, like nobody would ever love him. Steve felt like a complete and utter failure. He drank another shot to try and forget his feelings, forget Bucky, forget everything.  
  
Bucky had been staring into empty space until he heard someone order whiskey on the rocks. That was a heartbreak drink if Bucky had ever heard of one. The voice was familiar too, but after four shots of vodka, his brain was a little fuzzy. He turned to see who was broken-hearted and drinking, and saw Steve. His Steve. No, not his Steve anymore. Bucky had thrown all that away. Now he was just Steve, Sam's friend. Nothing more. He shouldn't be anything more. He would never be anything more. Bucky knew he shouldn't stare, goddamnit he knew he shouldn't stare, but he just couldn't help himself. Steve looked so damn beautiful, he always looked beautiful. It was only while he was staring that Bucky noticed something off about Steve. His usually neat blonde hair was an utter mess; his eyes were bloodshot, he had tearstains streaking his face. He looked completely broken, and it was all Bucky's fault. He knew that; he knew it was his fault. He'd taken that perfect boy and destroyed him. He grabbed another two shots and downed them, hoping to drown his sorrows with alcohol and desperation.  
  
Steve drank another two shots of whiskey and picked up his phone. He scrolled through his contacts until he found Bucky's number. His thumb hovered over the call button, but he came to his senses and slammed his phone down on the bar. The alcohol was starting to affect him, but he knew that Bucky was gone and that he was never going to come back. It wouldn't matter how many times Steve called or how much he begged, Bucky would never love him. Bucky probably pitied him and took him out on dates as a joke. He was probably laughing about it with his friends while Steve was falling more and more in love with him. Steve hated himself for being so naive. How could he have been stupid enough to fall for Bucky's charms? Why couldn't he just stay away? It was foolish, and now he was paying the price for it. He downed another shot of whiskey, in the hopes that it might make some of the pain go away. If anything, it made the pain worse. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he drank shot after shot of whiskey. The bartender never asked questions, but he did glance at him with a puzzled expression. Steve didn't care, he just wanted to drink until he died.  
  
Bucky stopped drinking after six shots, partly because he was fairly intoxicated, but mostly because he was watching Steve. Steve was on his eighth shot of whiskey, and he didn't show any signs of slowing down. Bucky asked the bartender for a glass of water. Steve needed someone to take care of him, otherwise he was going to end up in the ER with alcohol poisoning. Bucky drunkenly decided that he was going to help. Unfortunately, he was a bit too drunk to help, so he was going to try and sober up a little first. He drank the glass of water slowly, as he tried to think of what to say. Bucky decided it would be best to just get Steve home. He needed rest, and he needed to sober up. Besides, Steve would be safe at home. That's all that mattered. Steve just needed to be safe. So Bucky took a deep breath and headed towards the boy he loved.  
  
Steve was incredibly drunk and incredibly upset, he had tears streaming down his face because he just couldn't stop thinking about Bucky. He could barely stand, and definitely couldn't speak coherently, but that didn't stop him from trying. He tried ordering another two shots of whiskey, but the bartender refused, saying someone had ordered him a glass of water. Reluctantly, Steve began drinking it. He also began to wonder who could've done such a thing. He didn't recognise anybody around him. Maybe it was just a concerned stranger, or maybe the bartender had just lied and ordered it himself because he thought Steve was getting too drunk. Steve shrugged those thoughts away and kept drinking his water until he felt a hand on his shoulder.  
"You need to go home; you're really drunk," the guy said.  
"Don't needa go home. M'fineeee," Steve slurred.  
"No, you're not. You can barely stand and reek of alcohol. C'mon, you're going home," the guy said, guiding Steve out of the bar and into the fresh air of Brooklyn.  
  
Bucky tried making the walk back to Steve's apartment quick, but Steve clearly had other ideas. Steve kept stumbling and stopping and occasionally blacking out for a few seconds, so Bucky decided to pick him up bridal style and carry him home. He swept Steve off the floor and gently carried him back to his apartment. When they got inside Steve's apartment, Bucky carried Steve to his bedroom, and tucked him into bed. He stayed in the room for a while, watching Steve to make sure he wasn't going to throw up or anything. It was only when Bucky tried to leave that he realised how drunk he was. He could hardly walk in a straight line; it was a miracle he'd managed to get Steve to his apartment safely. Bucky also realised how goddamn tired he was. He knew he wouldn't make it home, so he crashed on Steve's couch, hoping that Steve wouldn't mind.  
  
Steve woke up in his own bed, which he found unusual, because the last thing he remembered was a bar and lots of whiskey. Maybe someone hailed him a cab, maybe Sam brought him home, he didn't really care. He did, however, care about his hangover. He reached for his phone to check the time, when a folded piece of paper fluttered to the floor.  
 _I know you probably never want to hear from me again, but I couldn't just watch you drink yourself to death. I brought you home and slept on your couch, that's all. I promise. I left you some aspirin on the counter, you're gonna need it for that hangover. I promise I'll stay out of your life from now on, but if you ever need me, you know where to find me. Goodbye, James_  
Steve could scarcely believe it. Bucky saw him last night? Bucky had brought him home? Bucky had taken care of him when he was drunk? The very same Bucky who broke his heart and caused his to get drunk in the first place. Steve was more than confused. He needed to talk to Bucky about it in person,and he had a feeling he knew where Bucky might be that night.

Bucky wandered back into the bar he'd found Steve at the night before.  He was there for multiple reasons.   
One:  the vodka there was something else and two:  in case Steve wound up there again.  He doubted the latter would happen, but he couldn't be certain.  He ordered himself four more shots of vodka and was intent on getting absolutely wasted.  He doubted he'd ever hear from Steve again, but he wanted to.  God, he wanted to.  All he wanted was to hear the blonde's voice in his ear.  He wanted to feel Steve's lips against his skin and smell the familiar scent of his Steve.  But none of that would ever happen, and that broke Bucky's heart.  It also caused him to order another four shots of vodka.  He would never let Steve do it, but Bucky fully intended to drink himself to death.  He had nothing to live for, not when he didn't have his Steve.  He wanted Steve so badly, he began to sob Steve's name as he finished another shot of vodka.  
  
Steve walked into the bar, scanning the bar for Bucky.  It didn't take him long to find the brunette, he was crying as he finished what looked like his tenth shot of vodka.  Steve nodded at the bartender, draped Bucky's arm around his neck and dragged the brunette back to Steve's apartment. Steve's heart broke seeing Bucky in such a desperate state, but he knew that he shouldn't feel sorry for him.  The only reason Steve was helping Bucky was so that they were even and Steve wouldn't have to live his whole life feeling like he owed Bucky something.  When they got to Steve's apartment, Steve laid Bucky on the bed.  Steve decided he could sleep on the couch for one night;  it certainly wouldn't kill him.  
  
Bucky woke up in Steve's bed, in Steve's apartment.  He immediately wondered what was going on, how had he ended up there?  He looked around the room for any evidence that Steve had been there with him, but there was none.  Then he saw the note lying on the pillow next to his head.   
**I know you probably hate me, but I hated feeling like I owed you something. Now we're even. There's aspirin in the kitchen, as you know. I'll never speak to you again, and everything can go back to the way it was before we met each other. My shift finishes at three, make sure you've left by then. Goodbye, Steve**   
Bucky wanted to cry, but instead he just screwed the note up into a ball and went back to sleep, in the hopes that he could at least see Steve's face in his dreams.  
  
Steve came home to find all of Bucky's things still there, and to find a Bucky in his kitchen.   
"What are you still doing here?"  Steve asked.   
"Sorry, I'll leave,"  Bucky said quickly.   
"No, just tell me why you're still here,"  Steve demanded.   
"Because I wanted to pretend things were still normal,"  Bucky whispered, too quietly for Steve to hear.   
"At least tell me why you were so drunk last night!"  Steve shouted.  "Why were you drinking that much?"   
"With you gone, I had nothing left to live for,"  Bucky mumbled.  Steve was speechless, so Bucky continued, "I'm sorry for lying to you.  I was terrified.  You were the best thing that had ever happened to me, and I was so scared to lose you and look what I've done.  I've lost you.  I know you won't take me back, so the only thing I can say is I'm truly sorry for hurting you the way I did. "   
"Who says I won't take you back?"  Steve said, with a smile on his face. "I love you, Buck.  I'd do anything for you. "   
"I love you too, Stevie.  I promise I mean it and I promise I'll never hurt you like that ever again," Bucky said, as tears rolled down his cheeks.   
"Come here, Buck.  Don't cry babe,"  Steve whispered as he held his sobbing boyfriend.  "I love you.  It's all okay now.  You're with me.  Don't cry. " Bucky might have broken Steve's heart, but he also fixed it.  They were finally home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that wasn't too angsty for you. The next few will have a lot more fluff and a lot less tears.


	3. Slap Me Baby One More Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam dares Steve to slap people, Steve does it  
> This is a bit shorter than the other two  
> Pure fluff

"Thirty minutes?" Steve repeated. He was a little drunk, so he wasn't sure if he'd heard his friend correctly. "Thirty minutes to find ten people and casually slap them in the face?"  
"Do you want to skip the dare?" Sam taunted. Evidently, Steve hadn't misheard. He was going to run around Brooklyn for thirty minutes, slapping people in the face. What a great way to spend a Friday night.  
"Hell no, I'm not missing out of fifty bucks! It's on!" Steve declared, before slapping Sam. "You said ten people, you didn't say who." He quickly slapped his own cheek, before running off, leaving Sam to jog behind him.

Steve ran down the street for a while, until he saw a woman who looked somewhat approachable.  
"Hi, I'm Steve Rogers," he said to the redhead.  
"Natasha Romanov," she replied. "I'm also taken."  
"Oh no, that's not why I'm here," Steve explained. "Can I slap you?"  
"That's an unusual pickup line," Natasha thought. "Why?"  
"If I manage to slap ten people in the next twenty-eight minutes, I win fifty bucks," Steve said.  
"Go for it," Natasha replied, turning so he could hit her. Steve slapped her cheek gently, before thanking her and running off. Steve looked behind him to make sure that Sam was still there. Sam had practically caught up with him at that point, and was laughing at Steve.  
"You asked her!" Sam laughed.  
"Well, yeah. I'm not gonna be rude!" Steve argued.  
"The point is that you're not meant to ask them; you're meant to hit and run," Sam explained.  
"Well, I'm not just going to hit a woman then run off!" Steve said, as Sam rolled his eyes.

Turning a corner, Steve and Sam ran into one of their friends, Wanda. She didn't even need to ask what they were doing. She knew the boys had gotten drunk and starting daring each other to do dumb shit for cash they didn't have.  
"What is it this time, boys?" she asked.  
"He's gotta slap seven more people in the next twenty-five minutes," Sam said, pointing at Steve.  
"What's the prize?" she asked.  
"Fifty bucks," Steve said.  
"Who've you hit already? I'm guessing it's out of ten, right?" Wanda smiled.  
"Yeah. I hit him, myself and a pretty girl down that way called Natasha," Steve giggled, the alcohol taking effect.  
"You asked her, didn't you?" Wanda asked, before rolling her eyes at Steve when he nodded. "The whole point is that you hit and run!"  
"I tried telling him," Sam sighed.  
"I'll let you have a freebie," Wanda said. "If you try and whack me any other time though, I'll break your other wrist."  
"That was one time!" Steve complained, before slapping Wanda hard. He knew he'd never be able to do it ever again, so he made the most of it. She frowned at him, but he'd run off before she could retaliate.

The next person Steve and Sam came across who wasn't six feet tall, was a pleasant surprise for Sam. Less so for Steve, but Sam was determined to make it worthwhile. They knew his face the second they saw him. He was Steve's ex-boyfriend, Tony Stark. They'd dated each other for almost two years, until Steve realised that Tony had been cheating on him with half the male population of Brooklyn. Their breakup had been messy, and it left Steve hating Tony with everything he had in him. Sam nudged Steve, and Steve knew exactly what would make him feel better about it all. Sam's nudge clearly meant "go on, slap the motherfucker," and Steve intended to. However, he wanted to make it good.  
"Tony, it's been so long. How've you been?" Steve asked with a fake smile.  
"Not bad, you?" Tony asked, clearly uncomfortable.  
"Not bad," Steve replied. "It's gonna get a lot better in three...two...one..." He slapped Tony as hard as he could, grabbed Sam's arm and ran. He didn't think Tony would follow him, but he did not want to risk it.  
"Five down, five to go," Sam said. "Seventeen minutes left. I don't think you're gonna make it, pal."  
"Oh, ye of little faith," Steve mumbled as the pair continued to run.

Steve practically ran into the next person the duo found. He hadn't been looking where he was going and collided with some other guy.  
"Sorry about that," Steve apologised.  
"Don't worry about it," the other guy said.  
"I'm Steve," he said.  
"Bruce," the other guy replied.  
"I don't suppose I can ask you a favour?" Steve asked, pushing his luck a little.  
"Go for it," Bruce answered.  
"I need to slap five more people, before midnight. I only have thirteen minutes left. May I..?" Steve explained. Bruce was more than happy to oblige, so Steve slapped him and went on his way.  
"I still don't know how you're gonna find four more people in ten minutes," Sam said, delighted that he was going to keep his fifty bucks.  
"I will," Steve replied. "Trust me, I will."

Steve could've jumped for joy when he saw three people leaving a nightclub. He approached one of them, a rather cute, dark-haired guy.  
"Hey, dude. Can I slap you?" Steve asked.  
"Can I ask why?" the other guy asked. He had an adorable British accent, Steve practically melted on the spot.  
"Sure. I have seven minutes to slap four people and if I can do it, I win fifty bucks," Steve explained. "I'm Steve, by the way."  
"I'm Loki," the dark-haired guy said. "This is my brother Thor, and that's his girlfriend Jane."  
"You can slap me too, if you want," Thor said. He had an Australian accent; they were all so cute. Maybe that was just the vodka affecting Steve's brain.  
"Me too," Jane agreed. Steve thanked all of them and slapped all of them. He might as well have slapped Sam as well, because he looked like he was about to lose fifty bucks. Well, he was, but that's besides the point. The only downside was that Steve needed to slap one more person.

It was two minutes away from midnight, and there was nobody around to slap. Sam was already doing a victory dance, but Steve refused to give up. He was determined to win this bet. He was beginning to give up, but then he saw someone on the other side of the road. He had shoulder length brown hair and God; he was attractive. Steve checked his phone, noticed it was one minute to midnight, so he ran. Steve sprinted across the road, leaving Sam behind, and hit the guy in the face as hard as he could. An instant after, an alarm went off on Sam's phone to let Steve know that he'd one the bet. Steve was so excited he didn't notice the guy he'd slapped was glaring at him. He barely had time to think, before he was slapped in return.  
"Owwww," Steve complained.  
"Payback," the other guy shrugged. Steve finally noticed how cute this guy was. He was tall, dark and handsome, and what more could you want from a man?  
"I'm Steve. I'm also sorry," Steve said.  
"I'm Bucky. I'm also confused," Bucky replied.  
"My friend Sam and I made a bet. If I could slap ten people in the face before midnight, I would win fifty bucks," Steve explained. "I just won fifty bucks, so if there's anything I can do to repay you for the fact that I've hit you, let me know."  
"You could take me on a date?" Bucky suggested.  
"Tonight? I can pick you up?" Steve said.  
"Sure," Bucky said, giving Steve his number. "Call me." He was gone before Steve had a chance to get to know him.

"So...he was cute!" Sam teased when Bucky was out of earshot."Damn right! Gotta thank you buddy. Without your stupid dare I'd never have met him," Steve said."You did good, I'll give you that. You got great taste. Apart from Stark, but he was a mistake," Sam said."You need to come over later and help me decide where to go and what to wear," Steve started to panic."It'll be fine, I promise. Just text the guy!" Sam said. Sam was always less awkward than Steve, Sam was just way better at talking to people. Steve could only really talk to people he knew."You're right, thanks," Steve said, before pulling out his phone.

Steve and Bucky ended up going to see a movie. It was quite cute, and it turned out that Steve and Bucky had very similar tastes. They listened to the same kind of music, and liked the same types of films. Steve could hardly believe he'd found someone who was so similar to him. About halfway through the movie, Bucky decided to make a move, albeit a small one. He leaned over and put his arm around Steve. Steve smiled to himself and leaned towards Bucky, cuddling into the taller boy. When the movie finished, the pair held hands as Bucky walked Steve home. When they got to Steve's apartment, Steve pulled Bucky into a goodbye hug. As Steve went inside, he smiled, thinking that maybe he'd finally found someone he could trust. Someone who wouldn't hurt him. As Bucky walked home, he smiled, thinking that he could finally be happy with someone else.


	4. The Sun Can Fuck Right Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coffee Shop AU  
> Steve's a barista and Bucky's a writer in desperate need of coffee  
> Pure fluff

"Next, please,"  Steve called.  It was too early for him to be enthusiastic about working.  He needed an espresso and a nap before that could happen.  Sometimes he really hated working as a barista, but he needed the money and it was a decent way to meet new people.  Sometimes cute people.  The blonde smiled at the thought of meeting his true love at his workplace.  It would be almost like a scene from a romance movie.   
"Espresso,"  Bucky grunted.  It was far too early for him to do anything except frown and squint angrily at the sun. The sun was too bright and he was fucking tired.  He hated mornings;  they were the very bane of his existence.  The only reason the brunette had left his apartment was because he found the bustle of a coffee shop relaxing.  The barista handed him his coffee, and Bucky went to sit at a table.  He pulled his laptop out of his bag and began trying to write.  He had plenty of ideas, he envisioned epic heroes, sinister villains, selfless sacrifices for the greater good and valiant crusades.  Bucky just didn't know how to get them onto a page.  The scenarios he mapped out in his head were flawless, but the very second the words hit the paper, they became inferior.  After staring at a blank document for half an hour, Bucky went back to the counter to order more coffee.

"Espresso, please,"  Bucky said.  He desperately needed more coffee in the hopes that it may trigger something in his brain.  He wanted to write something beautiful, to paint the heavens with his words, but the words had barricaded themselves away. Perhaps coffee could breach that barricade and send the words pouring like a monsoon onto a page.  Perhaps his writing might finally be good enough.  Perhaps Bucky would be able to write something as exquisite as his heroes.  Maybe he could become the next Orwell or Hemingway.  Maybe he could finally make his dreams a reality.   
"Sure thing,"  Steve said.  Perhaps he was more awake than earlier, but he noticed the brunette was rather attractive.  He flashed him a smile, before handing him his coffee.  Perhaps it was just too good to be true, but Steve felt like the brunette would play an important role in his life.  He was just unsure of whether that role would be good or bad yet.  He hoped with all his heart that it would be the former.

Unfortunately for Bucky, coffee didn't breach the barricade between his thoughts and his words.  It didn't make it any worse, but it also didn't make it any better.  The sensible and logical side of him knew he needed to stop drinking coffee.  However, the rest of him knew that if he didn't continue to drink coffee, he was going to fall asleep.  Begrudgingly, he got up and went to order another coffee.   
"Espresso,"  Bucky said with a small smile.  The barista was kinda cute, but Bucky would never tell him that.  Never.  It simply wasn't the type of thing he did.  Maybe he'd turn the barista into his next protagonist, immortalise him in words and preserve his beauty on a page.   
"Here you go,"  Steve replied, beaming his dazzling smile.  He couldn't help but notice the sheer beauty of the brunette.  Steve watched as he walked away and took a seat at his table.  He stared at the brunette as his brows furrowed, glaring at his laptop.  Steve began wondering what he was doing.  Perhaps he was reading the news and frowning at the idiotic decisions made by foolish politicians.  Maybe he was writing a college essay, or emailing his boss.  Whatever he was doing, he didn't look happy about it.  Steve vowed that the next time the brunette came to the counter, he would find out his name and make him smile.

Bucky sat down and slowly began to type.  He started to describe the barista:  his dazzling smile, his sandy blonde hair, his sky blue eyes.  Eventually, he had a paragraph on his page.  A beautiful, eloquent paragraph describing what Bucky had decided would be his protagonist.  A smile spread across his face.  It was a start, but Bucky wanted more.  He wanted more than just a description, he wanted a real story.  A yawn hit him without warning, and Bucky realised how tired he was.  He desperately needed more coffee, so he headed to the counter once more.   
"Espresso?"  Steve asked with a smirk.  He was determined to make the brunette smile, and maybe even get his number.   
"Yeah," Bucky nodded.  He suddenly became very self-conscious for no real reason.  He assumed it was because the barista was making him nervous.   
"What's your name?"  Steve asked.  "And... can I ask what you're doing on your laptop? "   
"Bucky Barnes,"  Bucky announced.  "I'm trying to write a novel.  I've written and published some short stories before, but I've never written a full-length novel before.  It's not going well. "   
"I'm sorry to hear that,"  Steve said.  "I don't have much practice writing novels, so I don't think I can help but I really wish I could."   
"Don't worry about it,"  Bucky said.  "Anyways, did they give you a name along with that dazzling smile?"   
"Steve Rogers," Steve introduced.   
"Pleasure to meet you,"  Bucky said, smiling as he took his coffee and went back to his seat.

Steve smiled as Bucky walked away.  Not only had he made the brunette smile, but they'd flirted.  Steve began thinking that maybe he was in with a chance of getting his phone number, or maybe even a date.  Steve glanced at the clock and realised it was time for his break.  He grabbed a muffin and made his way over to Bucky's table.   
"Mind if I sit here?"  Steve asked.   
"Not at all,"  Bucky replied, gesturing for Steve to take a seat.   
"Can I see what you've got so far?"  Steve asked, moving to try and see Bucky's screen.   
"I-it's not much.  It's just a character profile, but it's really bad," Bucky blushed.   
"Please?"  Steve pleaded with his trademark puppy dog eyes.   
"Go on then,"  Bucky agreed, turning his laptop around.  "It's not great, though."   
** His sandy blonde hair shone like gold under the morning sun.  He looked like an angel when the light shined around him, enveloping him in its warmth.  His eyes sparkled with a mischievious glint, as if he knew something that you didn't.  His eyes were the colour of a summer sky, but sometimes they'd shine like blue topazes.  His smile could light up an entire room;  it was dazzling.  His laugh sounding like the singing of angels.  His voice was deep and rich;  it sounded like velvet, or melted chocolate.  He was beautiful, and he had a beautiful soul.  He looked at everybody as if they were a god and managed to see beauty in everything, even in the mundane. **   
Steve finished reading and looked up at Bucky's hopeful eyes.   
"What do you think?"  Bucky asked shyly.   
"Well, that's the most beautiful way anyone's ever described me,"  Steve laughed.  "You know, if you thought I was cute, you could've just asked for my number."   
"If I'd have known that, I would've,"  Bucky replied.  "I also thought you'd make an incredible protagonist."   
"I would make an awesome hero,"  Steve agreed.

Steve and Bucky continued to chat until Steve's break was over.  Just before Steve had to head back to work, he slid Bucky his number along with a note telling Bucky to text him.  Bucky simply smiled to himself before going to order more coffee.   
"This is your fifth espresso in two hours," Steve pointed out. " I'm mildly concerned about your coffee dependency. "   
"I'm fine," Bucky lied.  He wasn't fine at all, he was so hyped up on caffeine that he couldn't stand still.  In fact, he could barely stand at all.  He was shaking and Steve had noticed.  The only reason Bucky stayed at the coffee shop was so he could keep talking to Steve.   
"No, you're not.  I'm not serving you any more coffee.  Head home, before you crash and you can't even get home,"  Steve advised.   
"What if we compromise?  What if I stay here, but I promise not to drink any more coffee,"  Bucky argued.   
"Fine,"  Steve sighed.  "But if you crash, I'm not taking care of you."   
"I won't,"  Bucky said, before sitting back down to try and write some more.  Steve rolled his eyes as he watched Bucky type out a few more sentences.

A few hours, five sneaky conversations and seventeen texts later, Steve was finally able to go home.  He'd been talking to Bucky all morning, whether that be proper talking or texting.  However, Steve had noticed that Bucky was getting drowsy, and Steve knew he was crashing.  He could barely wait to finish his shift and take Bucky home.  He needed to rest and sleep it all off.  Steve was feeling oddly protective over Bucky, perhaps because he was older and physically stronger, or perhaps because he liked the brunette.  He thought Bucky was funny, and beneath the brooding exterior, he was an extremely sweet guy.  Steve headed to Bucky's table and gently tapped him on the shoulder.   
"Hey, you ready to head home?"  Steve asked.   
"Don't wanna,"  Bucky mumbled.  "Tired."   
"You need to go home.  C'mon,"  Steve said, as he wrapped Bucky's left arm around his neck and practically dragged the brunette outside.  "Where do you live?"  Bucky's only response was an incoherent mumble, so Steve hailed a cab and decided to take Bucky back to his place. Steve prayed to his ma that Bucky wouldn't hate him for it or make any assumptions from it.  All Steve wanted was to keep the brunette safe.  He managed to get both of them into the backseat of a cab, and in mere seconds, Bucky's head was resting gently on Steve's shoulder.  When they got to Steve's apartment, he tried waking Bucky, but decided it would be best to simply let him sleep.  Steve picked him up bridal style and carried him up eleven flights of stairs.

Bucky eventually woke up four hours later, in an unfamiliar bed, feeling incredibly groggy.  He couldn't even remember leaving the coffee shop.  He had absolutely no idea where he was, but he sincerely hoped that he hadn't done anything stupid that he'd regret.  It certainly wouldn't be the first time.  He would've gotten up and find out whose bed he was in, but his head was pounding so he closed his eyes and tried to fall asleep again.  Bucky woke up a few moments later, when he heard the bedroom door open.   
"Hey sleepyhead,"  Steve said, smiling.  "How are you feeling?"   
"Like I got hit by a truck,"  Bucky mumbled.   
"I told you that you'd crash but you didn't listen to me,"  Steve teased.   
"Yeah, and now I feel like shit,"  Bucky groaned.  "Next time, I'm listening to you."   
"I'm hoping there won't be a next time,"  Steve smiled.  "Budge up."  Steve sat down next to Bucky, and the pair sat for a few moments in comfortable silence.   
"I didn't do anything stupid, did I?"  Bucky asked.  "I just... I don't remember much. "   
"You fell asleep in the cab on the way here and I had to haul you up eleven flights of stairs, but other than that, no,"  Steve laughed.   
"Why'd you do all this for me?  You didn't have to do any of this.  I'm not worth it,"  Bucky said, feeling guilty.   
"Listen to me, don't you ever say anything like that about yourself again.  You are definitely worth it.  Anyone who's willing to overdose on caffeine in order to spend time with me is considered worth it to me.  Besides, you're smart, and you're funnyandyou're completely adorable and I like you,"  Steve explained.   
"I like you too," Bucky mumbled, as a rosy tint rose to his cheeks.   
"C'mere,"  Steve said, pulling Bucky into his arms.  "You're perfect, don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise."


	5. You Won't Believe This False Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1941 - Steve gets cold so he goes to sleep with Bucky  
> 2016 - Bucky remembers how he and Steve used to sleep together

1941   
Steve lay in bed at night, cold and shivering.  He wished he had some way of staying warm, but unfortunately he didn't.  He couldn't work because of his asthma and various other ailments.  His best friend Bucky worked as hard as he could to keep a roof over their head and to put food on the table, but there was only so much he could do.  Steve knew he could tell Bucky that he was cold and his friend would work himself to the bone so that they could buy an extra blanket, but Steve didn't want anyone to worry about him.  On top of that, he couldn't stand seeing Bucky come home looking broken and defeated. He tried his best to hide it, but Steve had always been able to see through Bucky's lies.  Steve worried about his friend, because he never let anyone help him.  He always pretended to be brave and strong, even when he was falling apart.  Steve just wanted to keep his best friend, his _only_  friend, safe.  So he kept quiet, and continued to shiver until he managed to fall asleep.

Bucky lay in bed at night, wishing and hoping with all of his heart that Steve might feel the same way he did.  He knew it was wrong for him to feel like that.  He knew he was supposed to like the dames, and he did, he really did.  He thought he may have even loved some of them, but nothing he felt with them compared to how he felt when Steve smiled at him.  Fireworks exploded in his chest, he could feel the sparks tingling in every part of his body.  Bucky couldn't help but smile at Steve lovingly every time he smiled or laughed.  Bucky wanted nothing more than to be with Steve, but he knew that Steve simply wasn't like him.  Steve wasn't  _queer_!  Bucky felt so ashamed for wanting his best friend in the ways he did, it disgusted him.  Occasionally, when he was sure that Steve was asleep, he would imagine kissing the lips of his best friend.  However, that always seemed to end in disaster, as it reminded Bucky of what he could never have.  He usually ended up quietly sobbing himself to sleep, making sure that Steve never heard him.

One night, Steve reached his breaking point.  He just couldn't bear it anymore.  He wasn't just cold, he was freezing.  He didn't want to worry Bucky, but he needed to be warm and didn't want to get sick again.  So he tiptoed quietly and cautiously into Bucky's bedroom.   
"Hey, Buck?"  Steve mumbled quietly.   
"What's up, Stevie?"  Bucky asked groggily.   
"I'm cold, and I was just wondering if I could sleep with you for a little while,"  Steve explained.  "Only if you want to, though,"  he added hastily.   
"Why didn't you tell me you were cold?  How long have you been cold, I can buy you another blanket? " Bucky fretted, concerned for Steve's health.   
"I'm fine, Buck, honestly.  Just feeling a bit cold, that's all,"  Steve assured Bucky.  Without hesitation, the older boy moved to let Steve lie down.  "Can you... can you cuddle me?  Just to warm me up,"  Steve asked nervously, but Bucky wrapped his arms around the smaller boy in an instant.  Steve smiled to himself, and slipped into a peaceful sleep.

Bucky knew he would regret his decision from the instant Steve laid next to him.  He knew he could trust himself not do anything stupid, but he knew he'd end up liking Steve more than he already did.  Unfortunately for Bucky, he didn't possess the willpower necessary to turn Steve down.  His puppy dog eyes and sad pout were infamous.  Bucky let the boy he loved lie down next to him and cuddle up to him for warmth.  Eventually, Bucky relaxed after seeing how calm and peaceful Steve looked.  Bucky let himself just stare at his friend, and he noticed every detail about him as if it was the last time Bucky would ever see him again.  He noticed how Steve's long, dark eyelashes brushed his cheek delicately.  He noticed how Steve's usually neat golden hair stuck out in every direction as a result of his tiredness.  He noticed how soft Steve's lips really were, just like he'd imagined they'd be.  He realised that Steve had fallen asleep with a smile on his face and Bucky wondered if he was the reason his friend was smiling. He also realised how much he wanted to kiss Steve.  He knew he shouldn't, because Steve was sleeping and it wasn't fair, but Bucky couldn't help himself. He brushed his lips over Steve's forehead ever so gently, it was barely even a kiss, but it made Bucky smile.  He didn't fall asleep crying;  he fell asleep smiling and cuddling the boy he loved.

Steve continued to sleep in Bucky's bed for many nights after that.  Partly because he was still cold, but partly because he slept better when he slept next to his best friend.  Every night he fell asleep with a smile on his face and every morning he woke up lonely.  He was happy, though, he loved sleeping with Bucky.  It made him feel safe.  Bucky was struggling to hold it together, he was drinking a little more, and staying out dancing a little later than he used to.  He'd always go home to his Steve though and every night before he went to sleep, Bucky would give Steve a light kiss on the forehead.  Steve was happy, and as long as Steve was happy, Bucky was happy too. He wanted more, but he was more than grateful for what he had.  He loved Steve, and he just wanted his friend to be happy.  Steve was the centre of Bucky's universe;  he practically worshipped him, and he just wanted to make his friend happy.

One night, around three weeks after Steve and Bucky started sleeping together, Steve surprised Bucky.  
"I met a dame, Buck. She's a real dish. Her name's Peggy Carter and we're going out dancing tonight," Steve said. Bucky could hardly believe his ears. He knew Steve wasn't temperamental but still. Steve had never shown any interest in the dames before, so Bucky had still been able to hold on to hope, but he couldn't even do that any more. He'd have to face the facts; Steve just didn't love him. Bucky managed to hold it together until Steve left, but the very second the door closed, Bucky began to sob. He felt so weak for crying over Steve but he knew that Steve was worth every second, every tear. He knew there was no point trying to stop the tears, so he let them flow like a waterfall from his misty eyes. Unfortunately for Bucky, he hadn't expected Steve to be back so soon. He was back in less than an hour and Bucky was still a sobbing mess. He heard the door open and tried to stop crying but he just couldn't.  
"What's up, Buck?" Steve asked when he got back.  
"Nothing, I'm fine," Bucky replied, wiping his eyes.  
"Bucky, what's wrong?" Steve asked again.  
"Lay off, Steve. I said I'm fine," Bucky snapped.  
"No need to snap your cap," Steve replied, before walking away. He wished Bucky would talk to him, but he knew it wasn't the right time. Bucky immediately regretted telling Steve to leave and proceeded to close his door and continued to sob silently.

Steve knew something was wrong with Bucky;  he just didn't know what.  It hurt him to see his best friend so upset.  He wanted to help, but he had no idea how to.  He needed Bucky to let him in, but Bucky would rather die than show any form of weakness.  Steve felt completely useless, he couldn't even help his best friend!  He quietly let a tear slip out of the corner of his eye.  That's when Steve realised what he needed to do to help Bucky.  Bucky would never open up to Steve by choice;  he'd rather bottle up his emotions.  But if Steve didn't give him a choice, he'd have to talk about whatever was upsetting him.  Steve could hear Bucky sobbing quietly through the thin walls, and it broke his heart.  He'd made up his mind, he was going to help his best friend.

"Hey, Buck,"  Steve said as he sat down on Bucky's bed.   
"I told you to lay off, Steve,"  Bucky snapped.   
"I know,"  Steve said.  "But you're upset and I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong."   
"It's nothing.  It's just stupid,"  Bucky said, sniffling and wiping his eyes.  "How was your date?"   
"We had a swell time;  she's a great gal. I even danced with her!  Just once, though,"  Steve said, smiling.  "She said next time we go dancing, I should bring you with me."   
"You kiss her?"  Bucky asked, secretly hoping the answer would be no.   
"Course not!"  Steve exclaimed.  "Besides, she's queer.  It wouldn't be right.  Now are you gonna tell me what's wrong or are we gonna sit here chit-chatting? "   
"Are you okay with her being queer?"  Bucky asked, curious.   
"Yeah, course I am.  She's still a dame;  she just likes other dames, that's all! " Steve explained.   
"Stevie, I'm queer,"  Bucky said, on the verge of tears.  It felt good to finally tell someone how he felt.  Bucky just hoped that Steve wouldn't hate him when he found out exactly who he was in love with.   
"Is that what you were upset about?  Were you too afraid to tell me?  Think I wouldn't wanna live with you? " Steve asked, trying not to laugh. " You're like a brother to me;  I love ya! "   
"It's not just that though," Bucky blurted out. " I think I'm in love. "   
"Who?  He's not an jerk, is he?  Don't go admitting you're sweet on someone if they're a jerk,"  Steve said.   
"Nah, he's brilliant.  He's the kindest person I've ever met.  He's charming and has got the most radiant eyes.  His smile always makes me smile.  He's beautiful, but he never realises just how beautiful he really is.  He's perfect," Bucky said, staring at Steve and wishing he could just kiss him.   
"Sounds nice. I'll have to meet him soon," Steve said, sounding a little disappointed.   
"You already have, you actually know him really well,"  Bucky hinted.  He knew he was going to do it;  he just needed to be brave, take a deep breath and just say it.  "I'm sweet on ya, Stevie."

Steve didn't say anything at first;  he wasn't sure what to say.  What do you say when the person you've been in love with for years confesses that they loveyou?  Well, you usually say it back, but Steve couldn't speak.  He could hardly believe that Bucky loved him.  It was like a dream come true.  Unfortunately, Bucky mistook Steve's shocked silence for disgust and started to cry again.   
"I'm sorry, Steve," Bucky apologised. " I never should've told you.  Just forget I said anything and everything can go back to how it was.  Nothing needs to change. "   
"Stop before you hurt yourself,"  Steve said with a smile.  "I'm sweet on you too, Buck.  I just couldn't believe it was real.  Now stop crying before I cry too. " Bucky didn't stop crying, but he did pull Steve into one of the tightest hugs in the world.  By the time they pulled away, Steve's shoulder was soaked with Bucky's tears and Steve himself had begun to cry.   
"It's getting late, you should get some sleep,"  Bucky said, getting into bed.   
"Does this mean you can kiss me properly every night?"  Steve mumbled with a smile.   
"You felt that?"  Bucky asked in shock.  Steve's response was a nod and an incoherent mumble.  Bucky simply leant in and kissed Steve on the cheek.   
"Goodnight, Buck,"  Steve mumbled.   
"Goodnight, Stevie,"  Bucky replied.

 

2016  
Bucky lay in his bed alone. He hated the Avengers Tower; it was too cold, too lonely. He wished he could go back to the person he used to be; the person he was before HYDRA changed him. He couldn't even remember what he was like back then, but he kept trying. Steve had been helping him too, reminding him of the things they used to do together. He missed Steve; Steve made him feel safe and reminded him of a time when his mind was his own and not somebody else's. Bucky curled up into a ball and tried to sleep. Instead of sleep, he got a flashback. He was used to flashbacks; they were usually of HYDRA and his torture, but this one was different. This one was about Steve and Brooklyn. Him and Steve sleeping together when it was cold and him kissing Steve's forehead. Him crying because Steve had a date and him telling Steve how he really felt. Steve confessing he felt the same way and Bucky being able to properly kiss Steve. When it was over, Bucky's head was spinning. He knew Steve was more than just an old friend, that spark never died. He just never knew that Steve had felt the same way and they'd kissed and gone on dates. Bucky smiled to himself, before suddenly thinking. Maybe it didn't happen. Maybe Bucky was just imagining things, making up things that he'd hoped had happened. He was confused, and needed Steve.

"Hey, Steve?"  Bucky whispered, shaking Steve awake.   
"What is it, Buck?  Is something wrong?  Are you okay? " Steve asked, beginning to panic.   
"I'm fine, I just need to ask you something," Buck reassured him. " In the forties, did we used to sleep together? "   
"Yeah," Steve nodded. " I used to get real cold, so you'd keep me warm. "   
"And did I admit I was sweet on you, and you said you felt the same?"  Bucky asked nervously.   
"Yeah, we did.  After that, everything changed.  We used to hold hands and go out dancing together.  Just before you left for Europe, you kissed me,"  Steve explained.  "I miss all that, I wish we could have it all again."   
"Well, who says we can't?  I read it's okay to feel that way now.  We can go on proper dates and tell people that we're in love instead of having to hide,"  Bucky said.   
"If that's what you want,"  Steve said.   
"It's what I wanted seventy-five years ago, and it's what I want now,"  Bucky replied with a smile.  "Can I sleep with you again, the way we used to?"   
"Of course, Buck,"  Steve replied.

Steve wrapped his arms around the man he loved, squeezed him tight and vowed to never ever let him go again.  He'd already lost the love of his life far too many times, he was never going to lose him again.  He smiled as he rested his chin on Bucky's shoulder.  He'd missed it all so much.  He'd missed holding hands, the kisses, the cuddling, he'd even missed the dancing.  Steve had never been happier he had his boyfriend back.  All he wanted was to help Bucky get his memories and his life back, now he finally had the chance.   
Bucky smiled as Steve pulled him closer.  Steve always made him feel safe, and this was no exception.  Bucky felt like nothing could hurt him when he was with Steve, not even his own mind.  He closed his eyes and began to drift off to sleep.   
"I love you, Stevie,"  Bucky mumbled.   
"I love you too, Buck,"  Steve replied.  "Sleep well."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Temperamental was a word used in the 30's and 40's to describe people gay people (according to wikipedia)


	6. Cupid Screwed Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soulmate AU  
> Matching soulmate tattoos  
> Steve and Bucky have very different opinions about having a soulmate

Bucky had always hated the idea of soulmates.  He hated the idea of love in general;  it seemed stupid to him.  He despised the idea that everyone had one true love that they were destined to spend the rest of their life with.  He never wanted to find his soulmate, ever.  That was why he constantly kept his soulmate tattoo hidden.  Not even his best friends knew the shape of his tattoo on his right forearm.  Bucky was a heartbreaker and he liked it that way.  He enjoyed running around, making girls and sometimes even guys fall in love with him, before ripping their hearts in two.  It made him feel like he important in some way.  He left his mark on so many people, changed their lives in his unique way, it made him someone.  It made him someone more than a failure.   
  
Steve had always loved the idea of soulmates.  He’d always dreamed of finding his one true love, his happily ever after, his soulmate.  He wanted to fall head over heels in love with that special someone, have the big white wedding, and the house with the white picket fence.  Steve wanted to find his soulmate more than anything in the world.  He just wanted to be happy. He always made sure his soulmate tattoo, a little arrow on his forearm, was visible for all the world to see.  Steve just wanted to fall in love with his soulmate, the person he was destined to love for all eternity.  
  
However, Steve and Bucky only felt this way until they found out who their soulmates were.  After that, it gets a little complicated.  
  
Bucky had made plans with his friend, Sam.  They were going to see a movie, but unfortunately, Brooklyn was in the midst of a heatwave.  Nobody dared to step outside in anything more than shorts and a tank top, which spelled trouble for Bucky. Luckily, he had a backup plan for these exact scenarios.  He reached into a drawer and pulled out a small tube of foundation.  He squeezed a blob onto his forearm and covered the small arrow tattoo perfectly.  Bucky realized he was going to be late, so he grabbed his keys and his phone and rushed out of his apartment.  The movie theater was only a few blocks away, but as soon as Bucky left the house, it started to rain.  Fortunately, it was a warm, summer rain.  Bucky found it quite relaxing.  However, he hoped it would stop by the time his movie finished so the makeup didn’t run off his arm during his walk home.  
  
It took Steve mere seconds to notice that the heavens had opened and warm, summer rain was pouring onto the streets.  Moments later, he was halfway out of his apartment to enjoy the rain, making sure his arrow tattoo was on full display.  Steve had always loved the rain;  he found it immensely relaxing.  He enjoyed listening to it and being in it.  He always preferred feeling the rain on his skin, though.  It relaxed him.  So he began wandering aimlessly through the streets of Brooklyn.  He hoped the rain wouldn’t stop anytime soon;  he wanted to wander for around two hours before heading home. He turned a corner randomly and continued to stroll through the streets he’d known all his life.  
  
Unfortunately for Bucky, the rain hadn’t stopped by the time the movie finished.  He figured he could make it home pretty quickly, as long as he didn’t get distracted.  He just hoped nobody saw his soulmate tattoo, which was now out in the open.  Bucky didn’t think he’d meet his soulmate during the fifteen-minute walk back to his apartment, but it wasn’t impossible.  It was just unlikely.  He jammed his earbuds in his ears and turned up the volume. At least he had an excuse to ignore people as he began to walk home in the rain.  He prayed to any Gods that may exist that he wouldn’t see anybody he knew.  
  
Steve had been walking for around two hours and he was thoroughly drenched and ready to head home.  He turned a corner, and that’s when Steve saw him.  A boy, around his age, with shoulder-length brown hair and an arrow tattoo clearly visible on his wrist.  Steve could barely believe it;  he’d finally found his soulmate!  He could barely contain his excitement, but he forced himself to take a deep breath and calm down before he approached his soulmate.  Steve realized his soulmate was hurrying away, so Steve jogged after him.  He was desperate to catch him;  he couldn’t bear the thought of his soulmate accidentally running away from him.  
  
Bucky was a block away from his apartment when he felt someone tap his shoulder.  He turned around and saw a blonde boy smiling at him, so he pulled out one of his earbuds.   
“Hey,”  the blonde said.  “I’m Steve Rogers.”   
“Bucky Barnes,” he introduced.   
“I don’t want to bother you, but I noticed we have matching soulmate tattoos.  That means I’m your soulmate,”  Steve said, blushing.   
“Forget about it, okay?”  Bucky snapped.  “Forget you saw it, forget you saw me!  Don’t try following me and don’t try to find me another time!  I don’t want a soulmate, and I will never want a soulmate!  Forget you ever saw my tattoo! ” Bucky stormed off angrily before had a chance to see the tears that were welling up in Steve’s eyes.   
  
Steve turned around and ran back to his apartment as fast as he could, his tears mixing with the raindrops and falling to the sidewalk.  He could hardly believe it.  His own soulmate didn’t even want him!  Steve felt like a failure.  He felt like he was worthless.  He’d always dreamed of finding his soulmate, and although he’d found him, he felt broken.  It felt like his heart was being ripped in two.  Steve sobbed until he had no tears left to cry.  He tried to sleep, but his dreams were haunted by Bucky and his words.  Eventually, Steve decided that if his soulmate didn’t want him, that was fine.  Steve would find a way to be happy without his soulmate.   
  
Bucky arrived back at his apartment and immediately collapsed on his bed.  He didn’t know why, but he felt so guilty for the way he spoke to Steve.  It was true, though.  He didn’t want a soulmate, never had, never would.  For some odd reason, Bucky was sad.  The more he thought about it, he realized that Steve was kinda cute.  Bucky would’ve had no problem breaking his little heart, except for the terrible feeling in his gut that he already did.  He tried going to sleep, to forget his problems, but Steve kept floating through his dreams.  His sandy golden hair, his intense sky-blue eyes, his dazzling smile, even the adorable way he blushed.  Bucky began thinking that maybe he did have a soulmate, whether he wanted one or not.

For days on end, Bucky couldn’t stop thinking about Steve.  He wanted to apologise for the things he said and set everything right.  He tried desperately to find Steve on social media, but when he couldn’t, Bucky decided to ask his friends, Sam and Natasha, for help.   
“I think I found my soulmate,”  Bucky said to them both.   
“You think, or you know?”  Natasha asked.   
“I thought you didn’t want a soulmate,” Sam replied, confused.   
“I didn’t, but then I met him.  And I know, Nat.  I saw his tattoo;  it’s identical to mine,”  Bucky explained.   
“That’s great!”  Sam replied.   
“No, it’s not.  He fucked it up.  What’d you do? ” Natasha asked.   
“I told him that I didn’t want a soulmate and that I never would,”  Bucky mumbled.   
“You idiot!”  Natasha yelled.  “You fucking idiot!”   
“Let me guess; you want us to help you find him,” Sam rolled his eyes, but smiled at Bucky. “ What’s his name? ”   
“Steve Rogers,”  Bucky muttered.   
“You have got to be kidding me!”  Natasha cried, with her head in her hands.  “That guy’s as sweet as apple pie.  How could you? ” She waited a moment before mumbling, “I’ll give you his number if you promise not to fuck it up.”   
  
Around a week after he had met his so-called “soulmate”, Steve received a text from an unknown number.   
**Hey , can we talk?**   
_Who is this?_   
**It’s Bucky; Nat gave me your number**   
_Leave me alone._   
** Please can we talk?  I’m really sorry **   
_Fuck off._   
Steve hated acting like a dick, but he knew that if he let Bucky straight back into his life, he’d just end up with his heart broken again.  He might do stupid things sometimes, but he wasn’t stupid enough to let that dick back into his life.  He didn’t need his “soulmate” anyway.   
  
Bucky refused to give up, just because Steve was still angry.  He texted Natasha, asking her for Steve’s address.  She gave it to him, albeit reluctantly, and warned him to be careful.  He arrived outside Steve’s apartment in no time, and knocked on the door.   
“Who is it?”  Steve called out.   
“It’s Bucky;  we really need to talk,”  Bucky replied.   
“No, we don’t.  You’ve already said enough,”  Steve yelled.   
“Please just listen to me.  I’m really sorry about the things I said, I didn’t mean any of it,” Bucky apologised.   
“If you really didn’t mean it, you wouldn't say it,”  Steve snapped.   
“I’m sorry Steve;  I really am,”  Bucky said.   
“You really hurt me,”  Steve replied.  “Never again.  I don’t want your pity and don't want your apologies.  Leave me alone. ”   
“Steve-” Bucky started.   
“I SAID GO!  NOW! ” Steve shouted.   
“Fine,”  Bucky said, quietly.  “I’ll go.”  He wrote something down on a piece of paper and slid it through Steve’s letter box, before walking away with tears in his eyes.   
  
Steve hadn’t intended on reading the note.  He was just going to throw it in the trash, but he was curious and wanted to know what it said, so he opened it and began reading.   
** Dear Steve,   
I know you might not read this, and that’s fine.  I completely understand.  I really hope you read it, though.  I’m truly sorry for everything I said to you last week.  I won’t lie to you and say I didn’t mean it, because I did.  I meant every single word of it until I met you.  I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.  I know it’s cliche, but it’s true.  I wish I could go back in time and redo the first day we met. I’d do everything right.  I’d tell you how beautiful you are, and how perfect your smile is.  I’d tell you that your eyes are my favourite shade of blue, and that you look adorable when you blush.  I’d ask you for your number and invite you out for coffee.  I know I can’t say all that in the past, but I can say it now.  So, would you go out with me for coffee?  This isn’t pity or an attempt to manipulate you;  this is just me telling you how I really feel.  You don’t have to say yes, you can have as much time as you need to think about it.  Just text me when you’ve made up your mind, please.   
Love, Bucky xxx **   
Steve could hardly believe what he was reading.  He had to stop Bucky before his soulmate walked away again.  Without a doubt in his mind, he raced out of his apartment and hoped that Bucky hadn’t gone far.   
  
Bucky was slowly walking away from Steve’s apartment.  He wanted to run back, and apologise some more and beg Steve to give him a second chance, but Steve told him to leave so he left.  He hoped with all his heart that Steve had read the note he left behind, and that he wouldn’t hate him.  Bucky really hoped that Steve wouldn’t completely hate the idea of coffee with him now.  He heard footsteps behind him, but he didn’t dare turn around in case it wasn’t Steve.  He didn’t think he’d be able to handle the heartbreak.  Seconds later, Bucky felt Steve’s arms wrap around him tightly.   
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Steve whispered in Bucky’s ear.   
“I’m really sorry for upsetting you the way I did,”  Bucky said.  “ I promise I won’t ever do it again.”   
“You’ve apologised enough.  I’m sorry I didn’t hear you out the first time around.  We could’ve avoided all of this mess,”  Steve replied.   
“It’s not your fault,”  Bucky assured him.  “Anyways, about that coffee.”   
“I’m free until around six,” Steve replied, grabbing Bucky by the hand and dragging him into the nearest coffee shop.   
  
“I don’t know anything about you,”  Bucky said.  “Tell me something, anything.”   
“I’m 21 and I’m studying English Literature?”  Steve replied.   
“I’m 24 and I’m a tattoo artist,”  Bucky countered.   
“My favourite colour is blue,”  Steve told him.   
“Mine used to be green, but now it’s blue like your eyes,”  Bucky replied.  Bucky learnt that Steve’s mom was called Sarah, and that his dad died before he was born.  He also learnt that Steve’s favourite movie is The Lion King, and that he wanted to join the Army when he was younger.  He also learnt that Steve had a passion for writing and drawing, and that he always dreamed of finding his true love.  Steve learnt that Bucky used to be a Sergeant in the Army, and that he had a little sister called Rebecca.  He also learnt that Bucky’s favourite book was The Great Gatsby, and that he had an amazing singing voice.  He also learnt just why Bucky never wanted to find his soulmate.   
  
Throughout their conversation, Bucky was having a hard time concentrating.  All he could think about was Steve and how beautiful he looked.  His laugh was the most wonderful thing Buck had ever heard, and the very thought made Bucky smile.  He was beginning to fall in love with Steve, and he knew it.   
“You’re beautiful,” Bucky said at one point, without even thinking about it.   
“So are you,”  Steve replied.   
“Not as perfect as you,” Bucky argued, making Steve blush.   
“I should probably go,”  Steve mentioned.   
“I’ll walk you home,” Bucky suggested, holding Steve’s hand as they left the coffee shop.  They arrived at Steve’s apartment all too soon.  Bucky pulled Steve into a tight hug before they left.   
“Goodnight, Soulmate,”  Steve said.  “I’ll text you.”   
“Goodnight, Soulmate,”  Bucky replied.  “You’d better.”  Mere seconds after Steve closed his door, Bucky texted Natasha.   
**Oh God, I’m in love**   
As soon as Steve closed his door, he pulled out his phone to text Natasha.   
_ I think I ’m in love with him _


	7. So Maybe I'm Not Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky hears Steve crying in his apartment so decides to help  
> Bit of angst, bit of fluff  
> Enjoy

Steve was an extremely emotional person. That meant he cried. A lot. In the past week, Steve had spent every night curled up on his couch in tears. The first time, it was because his boyfriend had cheated on him. The second time was because his boyfriend had got a girl pregnant. Third time, his boyfriend had dumped him publicly. His boyfriend had lied about ever having feelings for Steve, his boyfriend had lied about being gay, his boyfriend called him a faggot behind his back. Steve's boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend, was a dick and made him cry more in a week than most people do in a month. The worst part was, Steve still cared about the douchebag. He was Steve's first love and his first kiss. His first boyfriend, first everything. Steve refused to just let all of that go.

So Steve spent his Friday night curled up in a ball, sobbing on his couch. He wished he could stop crying over that dickhead, he knew it was destructive, but he couldn't help himself. He'd been in love, or at least he thought it had been love. He'd never felt that way about anyone before and he doubted he'd feel that way about anyone ever again. He thought he'd finally found his forever, his true love, but it had all been fake. He fell way too hard, way too fast, and his asshole of an ex-boyfriend hadn't fallen at all. Another sob escaped his lips as tears continued to stream down his face. Luckily, Steve was pulled out of his self-loathing and misery by a harsh knock on the door.

Steve opened the door, to find a rather gorgeous man. He had shoulder-length chestnut hair and deep brown eyes, the colour of melted chocolate.  
"Uh, hi?" Steve said, sniffling.  
"Hey, I'm Bucky. I'm your neighbour," Bucky said with a smile.  
"I'm Steve," Steve replied.  
"I don't wanna bother you or anything, but the walls are really thin and I keep hearing you crying. I just wanted to know if you're okay and ask if you wanted to talk about it," Bucky explained.  
"I'm fine," Steve lied.  
"That's bullshit. You were crying less than a minute ago," Bucky said. "Do you wanna talk about it?" Steve just nodded, opening the door wider, whilst trying to blink back the tears that were already threatening to fall.

"So," Bucky said, once the pair had sat down on Steve's couch. "What's wrong? What's made you cry every night for a week?"  
"My dumb ex-boyfriend," Steve mumbled. "Last Friday, I found out he cheated on me. Then I found out that the girl he cheated on me with got pregnant. Sunday, he took me out for dinner. I thought he was going to apologise and try to fix everything but he dumped me. Then I found he never had feelings for me, then I found out he lied about his sexuality just so he could fuck me. He's been calling me a dumb faggot, and saying that I was only with him for his money. He made me cut contact with all my friends when we were together, saying he was more important than them. When I did something really bad, he'd punch me, but only because I deserved it..."  
"Sorry to interrupt, but that sounds like a very abusive relationship," Bucky said.  
"He said he only did all it because he loved me," Steve replied.  
"That's what they all say," Bucky explained. "No good boyfriend should ever make you cry that much, or treat you the way he treated you. What's his name?"  
"Tony Stark," Steve mumbled.  
"I should've known, he's got a reputation for being a twat," Bucky said.  
"He told me he'd changed," Steve replied.  
"Nobody can change that much," Bucky said. "You're what's important now. You need to take care of yourself. Calm down and have a shower. Get something to eat and drink, and try to sleep. I'll check in on you tomorrow."  
"You don't need to do that," Steve said.  
"I want to," Bucky replied, with a smile. "I'm gonna show you how a real man should treat you." Steve gave Bucky a feeble smile as Bucky left.

Steve felt marginally better after talking to Bucky about Tony, and he felt significantly better after taking care of himself. By the time he went to bed, he could almost forget about all the pain Tony inflicted on him. He hadn't known Bucky for very long, but Bucky already treated him like he was worth something. Bucky treated him like he was special and important. He acted as if he cared. Steve thought about the way Bucky had smiled at him, as if he was the best thing in the world. Maybe he did deserve someone better than Tony. For the first time in months, Steve fell asleep with a smile on his face, and his dreams were full of happiness.

Steve was definitely in a better mood by the time Bucky visited the next day. He was smiling, and even humming, as he went about his day. Bucky knocked on Steve's door around midday.  
"Hey, how're you feeling?" Bucky asked.  
"I'm feeling better," Steve replied, as he let Bucky into his apartment. "Thank you."  
"You're about to feel even better," Bucky hinted.  
"Why?" Steve asked, confused.  
"Let's just say, Tony got what he deserved," Bucky said with a grin.  
"What did you do, Bucky? He's gonna murder me!" Steve worried.  
"No, he won't. I told him to leave you alone or he'll get it worse. I only broke his nose. He's fine, but that jerk will never bother you again," Bucky explained.  
"Oh my god, you're incredible!" Steve cried as he hugged Bucky tight.  
"Yeah, yeah, I know. Have you eaten lunch yet?" Bucky questioned.  
"Not yet, no," Steve answered.  
"Good. Grab your jacket; I'm taking you out," Bucky replied.  
"You're doing what?" Steve asked, unsure if he'd heard correctly.  
"Taking you out on a date," Bucky repeated. "I told you I was gonna show you how a real man should treat ya, and I will. C'mon."

Bucky took Steve to a cute little cafe not too far from their apartments. Tony had never really taken Steve on many dates, so it's fair to say that Steve was a little out of his depth. The majority of the menu was in French, and Steve had no idea what to order. Bucky asked him a few questions about what he wanted and then ordered for the both of them. The pair chatted while they waited, and they learned quite a bit about each other. When their orders arrived, Steve felt like he could hardly breathe. The cakes were beautiful, he'd never been to a patisserie before but he would definitely go again. Everything tasted amazing, but all he could think about was Bucky. It was a date and a half, but Steve was confused. He wondered why Bucky was doing that for him. Did Bucky like him? Maybe he was just trying to be nice, and it was just a friendly gesture. Steve wasn't sure, but he didn't dare to ask. He just decided to enjoy the date, and see where it went.

Steve was even more confused by the end of the date. It seemed like Bucky was flirting with him, but he wasn't sure. People didn't flirt with him very often, so he could've misread the signs completely. Steve enjoyed spending time with Bucky. He wasn't sure if that was because he wanted to be friends with Bucky or if there was something more behind it. He would never say any of his thoughts out loud, but secretly he hoped he would get to go on another date with Bucky. He liked Bucky, and that scared him. It was too soon. He couldn't go rushing into another Tony situation. He couldn't handle that again. It was all too much, too fast. He needed space from Bucky, otherwise he'd make the same mistake he made with Tony. He'd fall too hard, too fast, and he'd get hurt. Not again. Never again.

When Bucky went to visit Steve the next day, Steve locked the door and pretended he'd gone out. He wanted to see Bucky again, but he was terrified. He was too afraid to have his heart broken again and be left all alone. He couldn't bare to feel like that again. It would break him. So, as much as it hurt him, he made sure Bucky never saw him. For days, he locked his door and refused to let Bucky in. For days, he pretended not to be home. After a week and a half of daily attempted visits, Bucky stopped. He stopped knocking on Steve's door. Steve wanted to be happy he didn't have to worry now, but he couldn't. He missed Bucky, but he figured that Bucky hated him and wouldn't want anything to do with him after he shut Bucky out.

That evening, Steve heard a sound through the wall. It sounded like Bucky was...crying? Going against his better judgement, he ran out of his apartment and knocked on Bucky's door. Bucky opened it, looking defeated. His eyes were red, and he still had tears running down his cheeks.  
"I...uh, I don't want to bother you or anything, but the walls are really thin and I heard you crying. I just wanted to know if you're okay and ask if you wanna talk about it," Steve mumbled, unable to look Bucky in the eye.  
"Oh my god, you're okay! You're actually okay!" Bucky cried, hugging Steve as if he was afraid to let go. "I thought you'd gone back to Tony, and he was hurting you again!"  
"No, I'd never do that. I've got some explaining to do, though," Steve said.  
"I'll say," Bucky agreed.

"I'm sorry, Bucky," Steve said. "I never should've ignored you, but I was so scared. After that date, I realised I liked you but I was too scared to ask you if you liked me. I thought I was heading straight into another Tony situation, that I'd fall for you too quickly but you wouldn't fall at all. I thought that the best way to avoid that was to not fall for you at all. I never thought I'd hurt you. I missed you a lot. You were the first guy to treat me like I was worth something, so thank you. I guess I was right though, it was a Tony situation. I acted like Tony and I'm so sorry."  
"You didn't act like Tony. He hurts people because he enjoys it. You hurt me because you were scared. I understand, but I wish you'd just talked to me about it. You didn't have to hide from me; you still don't and never ever will. I'm not like Tony, I'd never hurt you like that. I'd never hurt anyone the way he hurt you. I decided I was gonna take you out on a date because I knew you deserved to be treated like a king. I liked you from the moment I first saw you and I hoped that over time, and a few dates, you'd grow to like me too. Even if you didn't, at least you'd know how a true gentleman should treat you," Bucky explained.  
"So..." Steve started.  
"Just c'mere," Bucky said. He pulled Steve into a hug and Steve realised that he felt happiest in Bucky's arms. He realised that Bucky would always treat him like a king, and always love him the way Tony never did. In that moment, Steve decided to do something he'd never done before. He decided to be spontaneous. He stood on his tiptoes and gently kissed Bucky on the cheek. Bucky smiled down at Steve, eternally grateful for the thin walls in their apartments.


	8. Never Have I Ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve plays Never Have I Ever with some of the other Avengers, and they learn Captain America is one kinky motherfucker!  
> SMUT!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!

"Never have I ever sounds like a great idea!"  Tony announced, grabbing two bottles of vodka and a bottle of whiskey from God only knows where.   
"What are the rules?"  Steve asked.  "I don't think I've ever played."   
"Someone says something, for example 'never have I ever been arrested' and anyone who's done it has to drink a shot,"  Clint explained.   
"Sounds fun, I'm in!"  Steve said, sitting down with the other Avengers in a circle.   
"Usually, when we play, we play a kinky version,"  Natasha warned him.   
"Sounds even better,"  Steve said with a smirk.   
"I bet Captain Vanilla over there won't even drink a shot,"  Tony mumbled, loud enough for only Nat to hear.  She snorted quietly, but didn't say anything.  Steve, Tony, Nat, Sam, Clint and Wanda were all playing, and the game began.

"Round one!  We'll start easy, we have a senior citizen in our presence! " Tony joked.   
"Never have I ever kissed someone of the same sex," Clint started.  Everyone took a shot, and Clint blushed a little.   
"Who hasn't, dude?"  Sam replied.   
"Never have I ever had a friend with benefits,"  Steve said.  Most people took a shot, except for Wanda.  Tony rolled his eyes.   
"Never have I ever had a one night stand,"  Wanda said.  Everyone else took a shot.   
"Never have I ever been walked in on,"  Sam said.  Nat, Tony and Steve all drank a shot.   
"I'm careful, unlike you,"  Nat teased.   
"Never have I ever fucked a stranger,"  Tony said.  Nat and Steve both drank shots.   
"Never have I ever flashed someone,"  Nat said.  Steve blushed and drank a shot.   
"It was an accident, way back in the thirties!"  Steve said.

"Round two begins, and Capsicle has drunk the most.  Can you believe it cause I cannot? " Tony yelled.   
"Never have I ever had a threesome,"  Clint said.  Natasha, Steve and Tony all drank a shot.   
"Never have I ever needed medical attention for having a foreign object inside me,"  Steve said.  Tony drank a shot very quickly and motioned for the game to move on so nobody would ask questions.   
"Never have I ever called someone the wrong name whilst having sex,"  Wanda said.  "Although I almost did."  Steve and Tony both drank another shot.   
"Never have I ever fucked a close friend for a laugh,"  Sam said.  Steve rolled his eyes and drank a shot, along with Nat.   
"Never have I ever paid for sex,"  Tony said.  "However, I have  _been_  paid for sex."  Steve drank another shot.   
"What?  It was the forties! " he argued as Tony laughed.   
"Never have I ever received a noise complaint immediately after sex,"  Nat said.  Tony and Steve both had to drink another shot.

"Round three and we've learned that Spangles can last!  It's gonna get kinky though, so you have been warned! " Tony announced, far too loudly.   
"Never have I ever had a finger in my ass,"  Clint said.  Steve and Tony both drank a shot within seconds.   
"Never have I ever played with a vibrator during sex,"  Wanda said.  Nat and Steve both drank shots.   
"You should, they're really fun," Nat encouraged.   
"She's right, they're amazing!"  Steve agreed.   
"Never have I ever performed a striptease,"  Sam said.  Steve drank another shot, along with Clint.  Sam raised his eyebrows at Tony.   
"I don't need to perform a striptease to get someone into bed,"  Tony bragged.   
"He can't get them anyway,"  Clint whispered to Steve.   
"Never have I ever sexted a colleague for kicks,"  Tony said.  Nat, Steve and Sam all drank shots, and Tony rolled his eyes at them.   
"Never have I ever fucked two different people in twenty-four hours,"  Nat said.  Only Steve and Tony drank shots, but it still surprised Wanda.   
"I think I should stop playing;  I'm too innocent for this,"  she said.

"Round four, and it's gonna get even kinkier!"  Nat announced.  
"Never have I ever been watched having sex,"  Clint said.  Steve drank a shot.  
"What?  It's called voyeurism, and it's hot as fuck! " he argued.  
"Never have I ever watched another couple have sex,"  Steve said.  Nat drank a shot.  
"I accidentally walked in on someone once,"  she explained.  
"Never have I ever had an entire fist up my ass,"  Sam said.  Tony and Steve both took shots.  
"Let's never talk about this, okay?"  Tony said.  
"Never have I ever fucked someone within an hour of meeting them,"  Tony said.  Steve drank yet another shot.  
"Never have I ever been degraded during sex,"  Nat said.  Steve and Tony both drank another shot.  
"It's really hot,"  Steve said.

"Okay! Captain Kinky over here's gonna drink each and every one of us under the table, so let's change this game a little bit, eh?"  Tony declared.  "Let's see how kinky Rogers really is."   
"Ever been choked during sex?"  Clint asked.  Steve nodded and drank another shot.   
"So many times,"  Steve replied.   
"Ever passed out from suffocation during sex?"  Nat asked.   
"Only a few times, but yes,"  Steve answered, drinking another shot.   
"Ever been whipped?"  Sam asked.   
"Yep,"  Steve replied and drank another shot.   
"Ever done it doggy style?"  Wanda asked.   
"More times than I can count.  Both in the thirties and recently,"  Steve said, as he drank vodka straight from the bottle.   
"Spread eagle?"  Tony asked with a smirk on his face.  There was no way on earth that Steven Grant Rogers could've done that with someone.  Steve simply grinned and drank a shot.   
"Oh yeah, that was in that back alley back in thirty-nine, wasn't it?  I remember that;  it was fun! " Bucky said, standing in the doorway.   
"How long have you been stood there?"  Nat asked.  "You could've joined us."   
"Long enough to know you'll have to try a lot harder if you want to find something that we've not done together,"  Bucky said with a smirk.

Bucky made his way over to Steve, grabbed him by his shirt and started making out with the blonde.  One of Steve's hands made it's way into Bucky's hair, while the other one scratched at his back.  Bucky began to moan into the kiss, causing Steve to moan in response.  Bucky's flesh hand began palming at Steve's clothed erection, while his metal arm wrapped around Steve's waist and picked him up.  Bucky and Steve made their way into the nearest room with a lockable door.   
"FRIDAY, disable cameras and audio,"  Bucky said as undid his zipper and pulled down his pants.   
"Yes, sir,"  FRIDAY replied.  Bucky then pulled Steve's pants down and began sliding his hand up and down Steve's painfully hard dick.   
"You gonna moan for me, baby?"  Bucky asked.  "Let everyone else hear you as you beg and moan and scream?"   
"Yes, Sergeant,"  Steve replied.   
"You want my fingers in your ass, baby?"  Bucky asked, already lubing up three of the fingers on his right hand.   
"Yes, please Buck!  Fuck, I want you so bad! "Steve moaned as Bucky continued to stroke his dick.  Without warning, Bucky slid one of his fingers into Steve's tight hole, and Steve let out a whine which soon turned into a loud moan.  Bucky began moving his finger inside of Steve's ass, which made the blonde moan.   
"Please, Buck!  Another, more, please! "Steve cried.  Bucky slipped another finger inside of Steve and began searching for something.  Within moments, Steve let out a load cry as Bucky's fingers brushed against his prostate.   
"That feel good, Stevie?"  Bucky asked.   
"Yes Buck!  Please, another! " Steve whined.  Bucky added another finger and began thrusting in and out of Steve, hitting his prostate every time, causing him to cry out.   
"I think you're ready, Stevie.  You want my cock? " Bucky asked.   
"Yes, fuck, please Buck!"  Steve moaned.  Bucky pulled his fingers out of Steve's ass and lubed up his dick before lining it up with Steve's hole.

Bucky gently began inserting himself into Steve.  Steve always took Bucky well;  he always had.  Bucky loved seeing the way Steve begged for him.  Once he was inside Steve, he began to thrust gently, not wanting to hurt the blonde.   
"Please, Buck.  Faster! "Steve whined.  Bucky started to thrust faster into Steve, hitting his prostate with every thrust.  Soon, Steve was squirming beneath Bucky, whining like a bitch in heat.   
"That feel good, baby?"  Bucky asked.   
"Feels amazing, Buck.  You're amazing,"  Steve gasped.  "Harder please!"  Bucky started to thrust harder, and not long after that he could tell Steve was close.  He grabbed Steve dick and began pumping it in time with his thrusts.  Steve let out a deafening moan.   
"I'm close... fuck... I'm so close... I'm gonna... " Steve moaned.   
"Cum for me baby, it's okay.  Cum for me.  Let everyone hear you.  Let everyone know how good I make you feel," Bucky said, continuing to thrust as hard and as fast as he could.  Moments later, he felt Steve clench around his dick and Steve saw white as he started shooting all over Bucky's chest.  Simply watching Steve cum was enough to send Bucky over the edge, because seconds later, he was moaning his lovers name as he came inside of Steve.  Once their orgasms had subsided, Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve and gently kissed him on the lips.  Moments after the pair had finished, they heard a moan from outside the door.  It was unmistakeably Tony Stark, who had been jacking off to the sound of the pair fucking.  Bucky had no doubt about it.

Bucky and Steve walked out of the room to be greeted by a completely wrecked Tony Stark.  His breathing was erratic, his pupils completely blown and his half-hard dick still hanging out of his pants.   
"Hey, Stark!"  Bucky said.  "If you liked it so much, why don't you come and join us next time?"   
"Maybe I will, maybe I won't,"  Tony said with a shrug.   
"If I were you, I'd just agree.  We don't offer very often,"  Steve said with a smirk.   
"Maybe you just can't handle it,"  Bucky teased.   
"I can handle it,"  Tony argued.   
"Two supersoldiers might be a bit more than he can handle, Buck,"  Steve teased.   
"After all, Stevie, we are a lot to handle,"  Bucky replied with a smirk.   
"Try pilates,"  Steve suggested to Tony before walking away.  All Tony could think about at that moment was how much he wanted to strangle Steve Rogers, both in the murderous way and the kinky way.


	9. Too Good To Be True

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ballet AU  
> Bucky is forced to go to the ballet with his parents, where he meets Steve  
> Pure fluff

Bucky just wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear.  He felt out of place from the very moment he stepped into the theatre.  Everyone else was very obviously at home amongst the ostentatious folk wearing evening gowns and tuxedos.  Bucky felt way more at home among his friends, chilling with his classmates as if he wasn't born with a silver spoon up his arse.  He liked feeling a normal person instead of a showpiece to be displayed.  He felt out of place in a tuxedo and a bow tie, he felt better in jeans and a hoodie.  Unfortunately, his parents had dragged him to the opening night of the Brooklyn Ballet's performance of The Nutcracker.  Bucky used to love going to the ballet, when he was younger he found it exciting and beautiful.  As he got older, however, he wanted to go less and less.  His parents had to practically drag him into the car by his hair.  They actually threatened to make him go to the opera with them.  It's safe to say that Bucky chose the ballet.  At least ballet had some form of grace and elegance.  Also, the dancers were never terrible to look at.  Bucky just secretly hoped he could have a nap without his parents noticing.  He really wanted to go home.

Bucky managed to sit through all of the first act without yawning more than twice.  He didn't know how, he thought it was a goddamn miracle.  There were parts he enjoyed, like the Nutcracker Prince's solo.  Luckily, Bucky was able to simply smile and nod when his parents tried to speak to him about the ballet.  He'd had years of practising, so he was easily able to look like he was listening when in reality, he was planning his escape.  Bucky excused himself, found the bathroom and texted his best friend, Natasha.   
**Please save me! This is torture!**   
_Can't, sorry! Try and enjoy it!_   
**It's so boring, though! It's just a bunch of losers prancing around in tights!**   
_Just try._   
**Okay, fine**   
_Promise?_   
**I promise**   
Bucky rolled his eyes and made his way back to his seat just in time for the beginning of Act 2.  Bucky realised he had no choice but to listen to Natasha.  His parents would murder him if he fell asleep, and it wasn't exactly like he could leave.  He groaned internally, but decided to try and enjoy the rest of the ballet.

Bucky kept his promise and somehow managed to stay awake for all of the second act.  It was almost the end, according to his parents, and Bucky hadn't yawned once.  He was on the edge of falling asleep when an oddly familiar piece of music began playing.  He recognised it immediately as the Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.  His mother often played it around the house, pretending to dance.  Bucky's eyes snapped wide open when he saw the prima ballerina wasn't a ballerina at all, but a ballerino.  He was no taller than 5'8", with a lean build.  Bucky had never seen a male dancer as the Sugar Plum Fairy;  he'd never even heard of it!  He hadn't even known it was possible!  Bucky was so intrigued that he couldn't tear his eyes off the soloist.  He began to fall in love with the dancer's arabesques and devloppes.  Within seconds, the dancer was performing flawless pirouettes.  Bucky counted... one, two, three, four.  A quadruple pirouette!  Bucky felt like he could hardly breathe.  The dancer glided so effortlessly across the stage, it took Bucky's breath away.  Although he hated watching a ballet, he had always admired the skill and strength of ballerinas.  There was a sudden change of tempo, one that Bucky had been expecting, but he couldn't have expected how gracefully the dancer flew across the stage.  Bucky had never seen someone pirouette that fast in his life, and he'd seen plenty of ballets.   
"Who is that?"  he leaned over and whispered to his mother.   
"Steven Rogers, he's a rising star," Bucky's mother replied.  Steven Rogers.  Bucky would make sure to remember that name, and he would definitely be sure to see other ballets he danced in.  The applause he received was deafening, but he deserved every second of it.  He was almost too good to be true.

"Come on, James," Bucky's mother said, guiding him towards the stairs.   
"Where are we going again?"  Bucky asked, cringing at his mother's use of his legal name.  His parents had always refused to call him by his nickname, a shortened version of his middle name.   
"We're going backstage. We're going to congratulate the director, the choreographer, and the performers!"  his mother reminded him.   
"And why are we doing this again?"  Bucky asked.   
"Because the new director of the Brooklyn Ballet is an old friend of ours,"  his mother reminded him once again.  "Remember, make a good first impression.  If you have nothing to say, just smile and nod. "   
"Yes, mother,"  Bucky answered obediently, straightening his spine and putting on a fake smile.   
"That's it;  we have a reputation to uphold,"  his mother whispered in his ear as she greeted the director.  "This is our son, James."   
"It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am,"  Bucky said, remaining polite.  "If you'll excuse me, I'd like to congratulate the dancers."

Bucky walked away from his parents as quickly as he could without looking suspicious.  He made a point to congratulate a few of the dancers in passing, but he didn't stop to talk to any of them properly.  He found a corner where he was out of sight, and that's where he decided to stay.   
"Hey, I didn't know anyone was here.  Sorry,"  someone said.  Bucky turned and saw the Sugar Plum Fairy, Steven Rogers.   
"It's okay, honestly.  I'm just trying to hide from my parents,"  Bucky said, blushing a little.   
"I'm trying to hide from everyone here.  They all want to talk to me, but I don't want to talk to them,"  Steven replied, rolling his eyes.  "They just don't get it."   
"You're the star of the show, of course everyone wants to talk to you!  You're Steven Rogers, for Gods sake! " Bucky said.   
"God, please don't call me that.  Only my mother ever called me Steven.  I prefer Steve.  Anyway, who are you? " Steve asked.   
"James Buchanan Barnes.  Only my parents call me James, though.  Everyone else calls me Bucky.  It's less of a mouthful,"  Bucky said with a smile.  "Can I just say, your pirouettes are breathtaking?  Your arabesques are perfect, and your devloppes are beautiful as well! "   
"You know your stuff.  Are you a dancer? " Steve asked.   
"No, I've never had the balance.  I've been going to the ballet since I was tiny, though, so I picked up a few things,"  Bucky explained.  "This was the first time I've ever seen you dance but you literally took my breath away.  You stole the show;  you were amazing! "

Moments later, Steve had pulled out his phone and was showing Bucky some videos of his other dances.  Bucky was a little starstruck.  He'd seen and met so many wonderful dancers before, but Steve was somehow better than anyone he'd seen before.  Steve made him fall in love with ballet again, just like when he was a kid.  Bucky felt his heart flutter every time Steve did a grand jete.  Every pirouette left him feeling breathless, every arm movement left him wanting more.  Bucky fell in love with Steve's performance in Sleeping Beauty, although his performance as the Sugar Plum Fairy was still his favourite by far.  All too soon, Bucky's parents called him away, but he vowed to himself that he would be back the following evening to watch Steve dance again.  He'd do anything to watch Steve perform one more pirouette, to see him glide gracefully across the stage once more.  He'd fallen completely in love with Steve's dancing.

The following evening, Bucky was back at the Brooklyn Ballet to watch Steve light up the stage once more.  He was alone that time, and for some reason, everything seemed a bit more magical.  Bucky couldn't take his eyes off any of the dancers.  He truly was in love with ballet again.  However, none of the other dancers were quite like Steve.  None of them were quite as perfect as Steve.  Steve lit up the stage like nobody else before him.  Bucky doubted there would ever be another dancer who could turn a simple pas de chat into something so beautiful and elegant.  Steve was without a doubt the most beautiful dancer Bucky had ever seen.  He enjoyed watching him so much that he returned to watch him dance for the following three evenings.

After watching Steve perform for the fifth time, Bucky decided to talk to the dancer, to thank him for rekindling his love of ballet.  It didn't take Bucky long to find him.  He was stood in the corner that Bucky had been hiding in four nights prior.   
"Hey, Steve,"  Bucky said.   
"Hey, Bucky,"  Steve replied.  "What are you doing here?  You were here a few nights ago. "   
"I loved your dancing so much that I came back, more than once actually,"  Bucky answered truthfully.   
"How many times have you watched me dance?"  Steve asked.   
"Five,"  Bucky mumbled.   
"But I've only been doing it for five... oh," Steve said, as a realisation hit him. "You've come to see me every night."   
"You're an amazing dancer.  I've fallen in love with the way you dance," Bucky said, as his heart pounded and butterflies fluttered around in his stomach.  "I think I'm actually... falling in love with you as well. "   
"I thought I noticed you in the crowd.  I wanted it to be you.  I'd hoped you'd liked my dancing, and I'd hoped you'd liked me even more.  I'm glad you love my dancing, because I love the way your eyes light up when you talk about it,"  Steve said, taking Bucky's hand in his own.


	10. Don't Do It You Son of a Bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evil Bucky isn't quite so evil after all  
> Angst and fluff

"That's enough,"  James said.  He wasn't The Winter Soldier anymore, but he wasn't Bucky either.  He wasn't one of the good guys, but at least he had control of his own mind.  Steve refused to stop fighting.  If giving his life meant that other people, innocent civilians went unharmed, he was more than willing to do so.   
"Not... going... to stop... " Steve groaned through the pain.   
"I said that's enough now."  James dropped his gun and caught a hold of Steve's wrists as he tried to keep fighting.  James kept Steve's wrists pinned with his metal hand, as he wrapped his flesh arm around the hero.  The embrace would've been comforting, if Steve's wrists hadn't just been handcuffed.   
"What the..?"  Steve asked.   
"I needed some way of making sure you wouldn't kill me," James explained as Steve struggled." Easy now, you've been hurt enough for one day.  I'm not gonna hurt you any more, I promise.  I'm a man of my word, in case you'd forgotten. "

Steve kept struggling against the metal, and James' embrace, but it only exhausted him.  Eventually, both he and James sank to the ground in a tangle of limbs.  James rocked him ever so slightly, while stroking his soft golden hair.   
" _This is your fault_ ," Steve wanted to scream. " _You hurt me_. "   
"Shh,"  James whispered.  "You've done more than enough, you've fought so bravely, but just listen to me.  There's no shame in surrendering and living another day, alright?  Nobody wants you to die, not even me.  America needs you. " Under his breath, he added," I need you."  Steve let out a weak groan of pain, but his eyes were closed.  James couldn't tell if he was sleeping, faking it, or genuinely unconscious.  He knew Steve needed help, and because he wasn't a complete monster, he was going to help him.  He needed Steve more than he cared to admit.  However, he was also going to need help.  James hauled Steve into the back of a cab. He told the driver to take them to his apartment, and paid him an extra twenty bucks to not ask any questions.

When they got to James' apartment building, Steve was still unconscious, so they took the elevator.  James laid Steve on the couch, whilst debating what to do next.  He knew who he needed to call, but he was unsure if their arrangement was still in place.  He dialed anyway.   
"Hey, is our arrangement still good?"  James asked.   
"What, we still help each other out even though we're on different teams?"  a voice replied.  "Yeah, always."   
"Good, cause I really need your help and there's nobody else I can ask,"  James explained.  "I can't go into details, just come to my apartment."   
"Be there in ten!"   
Sure enough, Natasha Romanov was knocking on James' door exactly ten minutes later.   
"What do you... oh, okay,"  Nat said, as she spotted Steve's body.  "You didn't kill him, did you?"   
"No, of course not!  He needs medical attention, and I can't exactly take him to a regular hospital.  I need you to help me get him to the compound,"  James explained.   
"What?  Are you crazy?  No, no way! " Nat exclaimed.   
"Please, Nat.  I don't know how bad it is, but I wanna help him.  Nobody will argue with you, they're all too scared.  And if you tell them I've been helping them out on the down-low, then maybe they'll let me stay until he's better,"  James pleaded.   
"Okay, fine.  One condition, you and I are going to have a proper talk about all this villain stuff.  Deal? " Nat bargained.   
"Deal,"  James agreed.

"What the hell is Barnes doing here?"  Tony exclaimed as soon as James and Nat entered the compound.  " And what happened to Grandpa Frisbee?"   
"Just help him,"  James begged.  "Please."   
"Why should I do anything for you?"  Tony asked.  "You turned your back on us and tried to kill every single one of us!"   
"He's been helping us out," Nat butted in. " Remember the intel I keep getting, the little tips and tricks, they're all coming from James.  He's trying to help us; he doesn't want Cap to get hurt. "   
"I tried to stop him from fighting; I really did.  Most of it was self-defense,"  James explained.   
"And the rest?"  Tony asked.   
"He was being a prick, so I socked him in the eye,"  James said.   
"I know the feeling well.  Fine, I'll help, just this once,"  Tony agreed.  "Now leave."   
"Not so fast, Stark.  He's promised me more intel, and we need to have a chat,"  Nat argued.   
"Fine, but he's not allowed out of your sight!" Tony bargained, shooting a death glare at James.  James would have come up with a snide comment, but he was already being dragged away by Natasha.

"What's all this really about, huh?"  Nat asked James as soon as they were out of earshot.  "You've stopped harming civilians, you're actively helping the Avengers, and you're making sure Steve isn't hurt.  I'm starting to think that this whole villain thing isn't about feeling something anymore, James. " That'd been his excuse originally.  A fight was the only thing that made him feel anything anymore.  It'd been real at first, but after three months it was just an excuse.  Now, Nat was seeing through it, and he had to finally tell the truth.  It was a miracle he'd gotten away with it for so long.  Six months was a long time for Natasha to keep believing a lie.  Maybe it was just because it was him, and Nat liked him.   
"It's all coming back, Nat,"  James replied.  "Remember when I said that I didn't feel like the Soldier, but I didn't feel like Bucky.  It felt like I was a completely different person? "   
"Yeah,"  Nat said.  "What about it?"   
"Well, now I'm starting to feel more like Bucky.  I don't wanna hurt people, but I don't know how to reach out and ask for help.  I ruined my friendships with so many people! I didn't think anyone would believe me," James explained, tears streaming down his face.  He sniffled and tried to wipe the tears away, but they just kept coming.  It wouldn't stop.   
"I get that, but why still pretend to be a villain?"  Nat asked, curious.   
"It's him, Nat.  He keeps me grounded.  I didn't want to fight him.  I just needed to see him, but I couldn't do that without a fight,"  Bucky said, sniffling.   
"James," Nat started.   
"Don't call me that, please.  It's not me, anymore," he shook is head.   
"Bucky?"  Nat asked, and he nodded.  "I'm gonna go talk to Stark, see how Steve's doing and maybe try and talk him into letting you stay.  Do you wanna stay here, go to the gym or come with? "   
"I'll come with you,"  Bucky said.  "Stark'll kill you if you left me alone anyway."   
"You mean he'd try," Nat laughed, which made Bucky smile too.

"Stark!"  Nat called.  "We want to talk to you."   
"First of all, how is he?"  Bucky asked.   
"A couple of broken ribs, plenty of bruising, a sprained wrist, a twisted ankle and a black eye.  Nothing too serious.  He'll be fine, not that you care,"  Tony answered.   
"If I didn't care, I wouldn't bring him here.  I'd have left him in the street,"  Bucky argued.   
"Boys, boys, stop it!"  Nat shouted.  "I'm glad he's gonna be okay, but that's not all I wanted to talk to you about.  Buck wants to stay here, at the compound, with us. "   
"Not a chance!"  Tony yelled.   
"Listen, he's been helping us out for almost six months.  He stopped harming civilians a month before that.  He just wants another chance, Tony.  I'd trusthim with my life, andI think this would be good for him, but it's your building.  Plus, nobody can win over the other Avengers like you and Cap.  Please?  Consider it a favour,"  Nat asked.   
"Okay, okay!  You owe me one, though.  Big time! " Tony said.   
"So I can stay?"  Bucky asked.   
"For now.  If you prove you're trustworthy, you can stay indefinitely, just like everyone else,"  Tony replied.   
"Can I see him?"  Bucky asked.   
He's still unconscious. I doubt you're the first thing he wants to see when he wakes up. I can tell you're more relaxed around him and Romanov so yeah,"  Tony said, motioning for Bucky to follow him.

"I don't normally do chit-chat, but I'm interested.  What made you decide to come back to Avenging?  We offered you a chance and you refused.  Very violently,"  Tony asked.   
"The old me came back, I guess.  After the brainwashing, I never felt like the same person.  I didn't know how to be the Bucky that Steve knew and I snapped.  After a while, it started coming back.  The memories, the jokes, I felt like myself again and I wanted to come back.  I just didn't know how.  I was always too scared to ask anyone for help,"  Bucky admitted.   
"Well, Capsicle wouldn't shut up about you.  Kept trying to think of ways to convince you to come back.  Somewhere along the line, he lost hope, though.  I saw him crying to Clint once, about how much he wanted the old Bucky back.  Fighting you hurt him,"  Tony said.   
"Fighting him hurt me too.  Today though, he just wouldn't stop.  I had to handcuff him, so he'd stop fighting.  I don't wanna lose him, Stark,"  Bucky said.   
"You won't lose him.  He cares about you.  Any fool can see it,"  Tony said.  "You care about him too.  I think maybe you love him. "   
"Course I do.  He's like my brother,"  Bucky replied.   
"Not like that,"  Tony explained.  "I think you're in love with him.  You're just too scared to admit it.  Times are changing, Barnes.  It's okay to be yourself. "   
"Thanks, Stark.  You're not as terrible as I thought you were,"  Bucky said.   
"You're not too bad yourself,"  Tony replied.

For the first time since entering the medical bay, Bucky allowed himself to look at Steve.  Bucky felt sick to his stomach, but he couldn't tear his eyes away.  Steve's blonde hair was matted with blood, and his right eye was swollen and bruised.  He had a split lip and a nasty gash on his forehead.  Tony had put Steve's left arm in a sling.  Bucky assumed that was the wrist that was sprained.  Bucky felt incredibly guilty for being responsible for Steve's pain.  He hated the idea that he'd hurt the man who used to be his best friend.  He felt a lone tear slip down his cheek.  Bucky desperately wanted to run out of the room and punch something until his knuckles bled but he couldn't bear the thought of leaving Steve again.  He wanted to apologise to Steve, for hurting him both physically and emotionally.  He wanted a chance to start over with Steve, a chance to be happy again.  He wanted it more than anything.

Without warning, Steve jerked awake and started hyperventilating.  Seconds later, Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve and started stroking his hair.   
"Shh, it's okay.  Calm down, Stevie.  I'm here.  You're okay," Bucky whispered in Steve's ear.  It took a few moments for Steve to calm down, but he did eventually.   
"Buck?  Is it really you? " Steve asked.   
"It's me, Stevie,"  Bucky assured him.   
"But you were killing people... I don't understand,"  Steve mumbled.   
"I haven't done that for months.  I didn't want to hurt you, Steve, but you kept fighting me.  I'm so sorry, Stevie.  Please forgive me,"  Bucky begged.   
"Of course I forgive you, Buck.  You came back to me.  That's all I've ever wanted,"  Steve replied, resting his head against Bucky's chest.   
"I thought you'd hate me,"  Bucky whispered.   
"I could never hate you, Buck.  I love you,"  Steve said.  "Not like that... I mean, I know you're not-"   
"I love you too, Stevie,"  Bucky replied, gently kissing Steve's forehead.  "Get better soon, please."   
"I will, Buck.  You know I will,"  Steve smiled.

Tony let Steve leave the medical bay the following day, and together with Nat, they spoke to the other Avengers about Bucky staying at the compound.  Sam and Thor had no problems with it, although Bucky thought Sam only agreed because he was Steve's friend.  Everyone else took a little bit of persuading, but eventually they realised it was probably for the best.  After his speech, no matter how hard Bucky tried, he just couldn't get Steve to speak to him.  Everytime Bucky went near him, Steve jumped away and ran away as fast as he could.  Bucky began to wonder if he'd done something wrong.  He wondered if maybe he'd made a mistake by admitting he loved Steve.  Or maybe Steve hated him because of all the pain he'd caused.  Or maybe Bucky had made a mistake by deciding to live in the compound.  Either way, he was terrified he'd lost his best friend and the love of his life.

"What's bugging you, Barnes?"  someone said.  Bucky turned around and saw Clint.  He'd never been close with Clint, but he needed to talk to someone.   
"It's Steve,"  Bucky said.  "He's being a real-"   
"Jackass?"  Clint suggested.  "He tends to act like that when he doesn't know what to do about something."   
"I know that,"  Bucky said.  "I keep trying to talk to him about it but he's avoiding me like the plague!"   
"What've you said to him that could make him act like this?"  Clint asked. "   
"He told me he was in love with me, and I told him I loved him back,"  Bucky replied.  "But how would that make him unsure?"   
"He probably wants to do something but he's not sure how you feel about it.  You gotta wait until he feels comfortable enough to ask you.  If you try and rush him, he's just gonna bolt,"  Clint said.  "I know it sucks, but that's just how it is."   
"Thanks Clint, you're a decent guy.  I can see why Nat likes you,"  Bucky said.   
"She likes me?"  Clint asked.   
"Don't get ahead of yourself,"  Bucky smiled.   
"You're a decent guy as well.  I think I'd like you more if you hadn't tried killing me, but nobody's perfect,"  Clint joked.

A few days later, Steve wandered into Bucky's room looking completely terrified.   
"What's wrong, Stevie?"  Bucky asked.  "Is everything okay?"   
"I-uh... just wanted... you know what, nevermind... doesn't matter,"  Steve mumbled, staring at the floor.   
"Stevie, you know you can tell me anything," Bucky encouraged.  Steve looked up at Bucky with blue eyes that were full of tears. "Don't cry, Stevie.  It's okay. " Without any warning whatsoever, Steve leaned forward and pressed his lips against Bucky's.  Bucky was shocked to say the least, but kissed back within seconds.  Sparks flew the second Steve's lips made contact with his own, and Bucky felt like he could fly.  When they eventually pulled away, neither of them could speak.  They were breathless and speechless.   
"That was..."  Steve started.   
"Amazing,"  Bucky finished.   
"I have wanted to do that since nineteen thirty-three,"  Steve breathed.   
"I have wanted you to do that since nineteen thirty-three,"  Bucky replied.  "Is that what had your star-spangled panties in a twist?"   
"Yeah, I wasn't sure how you'd react,"  Steve mumbled.   
"I'm with you till the end of the line, Stevie,"  Bucky reminded him.   
"Till the end of the line, Buck,"  Steve echoed, before gently kissing Bucky again.


	11. This Is Why I Don't Socialise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Art Gallery AU  
> Steve's an artist, Bucky admires his work  
> Fluff ensues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's kinda short, I'm really sorry. It's late here but I won't be able to post for a week so I wanted to post something before I go. I'll try and post something before next weekend, but no promises!

Bucky couldn't remember why he'd gone into an art gallery in the first place. He didn't know how long he'd been stood there, staring at one painting in particular, but he knew it must've been a long time. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the painting, it was breathtakingly beautiful. The reds and oranges used to paint the leaves on the trees seemed to light up the room. The brushstrokes of blue used to paint the river seemed to dance across the canvas. Bucky wanted to be able to leap from rock to rock, to see whatever it was that inspired the artist to paint such a masterpiece. It was almost enough to bring a tear to his eye. The artist painted with such grace and elegance. Bucky could see the emotion in every brushstroke, and he found it immensely moving. He wanted to buy the painting and hang it up in his apartment for all the world to see. He glanced at the price and immediately gasped. The painting was worth it, but he simply couldn't afford that! For some people, it would be absolutely nothing. For Bucky, $130 was far too expensive. He forced himself to tear his eyes away from the stunning painting for a moment, but didn't have the heart to walk away from such a masterpiece.

Steve wasn't really sure why he was anywhere near the gallery, he hated being able to see his work through the glass. He despised most of his artwork, he couldn't even begin to fathom why anyone would like his artwork, let alone buy it! He glanced to the left, curious to see if any of his work had been sold or if it had been replaced by something more appealing. Instead of finding his pieces missing, he saw someone staring at one of his less terrible paintings. A man, who looked to be in his mid-twenties, was staring at Steve's painting with wonder in his eyes. Steve had no idea how anyone could look at any of his paintings like that, nobody ever looked at Steve's art like that! The only reason they were in the gallery in the first place was that Steve happened to know the owner. Steve didn't think his art was anything magnificent. He was hardly the next Picasso or Monet. He couldn't make the canvas come alive like Van Gogh or Jackson Pollock. He was merely an amateur who occasionally made some money from a portrait or two. He wished he was a better artist, though. Steve adored getting so lost in a painting that he didn't know what day of the week it was or what month he was in. He loved painting to forget about everything else but it only worked for a little while. Then he'd come crashing back to earth. He couldn't help but wonder what interested the man so much about the painting, so he went inside the gallery to ask.

Bucky continued to stare at the exquisite painting, imagining what it would be like to be able to stare at it every day, knowing that nobody in the world would ever be able to replicate its splendour. Unfortunately, he was pulled out of his thoughts by a voice.  
"Do you like it? The painting," a skinny blonde boy asked. He didn't look much older than eighteen, and looked at the painting with a hint of disgust in his eyes.  
"I think it's beautiful. No, exquisite! It's so full of emotion, so simple yet completely perfect," Bucky gushed with excitement. He noticed the blonde's eyes light up a little and he began to smile.  
"You do? Really?" the blonde asked, surprised.  
"Yes! I'd love to meet the artist and tell them how amazing I think it is. I'd love to buy it, but it's far too expensive for me," Bucky said with a wistful smile.  
"I think I actually know the artist. I could...arrange for you to meet him?" the blonde suggested.  
"That would be amazing!" Bucky said. "My name's Bucky."  
"I'm Steve," the blonde introduced himself, handing Bucky his cell phone. "Put your number in, and I'll text you later."  
"Thank you," Bucky said. "This really means a lot to me."  
"It'll mean a lot to him, too. He's never really been a fan of his work. He'll be delighted to know someone likes it," Steve replied. Bucky left the gallery with a smile on his face, pleased that he would make the artist happy.

Steve could hardly believe what he'd done. He was going to arrange a meetup between himself and Bucky, all without Bucky knowing who he really was! The fact that Bucky thought his painting was beautiful made Steve's heart soar. He wanted to buy the painting for Bucky, but he really needed the money. He wanted to give him something, though; he'd inspired Steve to continue to paint. In an instant, Steve knew. He was going to sketch a portrait of Bucky. He could remember most of his features; his wavy brown hair, his warm hazelnut eyes, his gorgeous smile and what looked like a metal left arm underneath his jacket. Steve pulled his notebook out immediately and began a rough sketch, before immediately heading home to add in the details. Steve eventually drew two pictures of Bucky. In one of the sketches, Bucky looked just like he did when Steve saw him in the gallery, except his metal arm was a bit more visible. In the other sketch, Steve drew Bucky to look a little bit like a comic book character. It still had all of Bucky's characteristics, but he was also wearing a tactical vest and a muzzle. Steve called him The Winter Soldier. By the time he'd finished both drawings, he'd arranged to meet Bucky the following morning for coffee and also realised that maybe some of his art wasn't that awful after all.

Bucky was a little bit nervous to meet the artist who painted his favourite piece of art. What if the guy was a jerk, or he didn't want to meet Bucky at all? He could feel the nerves, but he kept telling himself that it was all going to be fine. For some reason, he trusted Steve. He doubted Steve would let him meet up with a weirdo, but you never really know. Moments later, the door opened, and Steve entered the shop. He smiled at Bucky and made his way over.  
"What are you doing here?" Bucky asked. "I thought I was gonna have coffee with...oh..."  
"I'm sorry, this was a dumb idea," Steve apologised. "I never should've done this. You like my work not me, I'll just..."  
"I like you as well as your art. I just wasn't expecting you, that's all," Bucky smiled, gesturing for Steve to sit down. "How old are you anyway? You look like you're eighteen."  
"I'm twenty-three," Steve replied.  
"I'm twenty-five," Bucky said.  
"Before I forget, I brought you something. I would've bought you that painting you like so much, but I can't afford it either. Instead, I drew you these. That one's a character I created based off you. He's called The Winter Soldier," Steve explained, pulling out the drawings for Bucky.  
"I love them," Bucky said. "You even drew my metal arm..."  
"I hope you don't mind. I noticed your metal hand yesterday, and I liked the idea of it going all the way up to your shoulder," Steve said.  
"Luckily for you, it does," Bucky mumbled, looking uncomfortable. "You managed to make such an ugly thing beautiful."  
"Your arm isn't ugly, and neither are you," Steve assured him. "May I see it?" Bucky took off his jacket so that Steve could see all of his arm.  
"It's disgusting," Bucky mumbled, embarrassed.  
"No, it's not," Steve whispered as he lightly kissed Bucky's palm and wrist. "It's proof you're strong and brave. It's proof you're a survivor. Never be ashamed of something that makes you more beautiful than you already are."

Bucky and Steve talked for hours in the coffee shop, before parting ways. Bucky had no idea that Steve had kissed his palm and wrist, and Steve had no intention of telling him. They were becoming friends, and Steve didn't want to jeopardise that by telling Bucky he thought he was cute. He didn't know if Bucky was even gay. He could be homophobic! Steve really hoped he wasn't because he was really starting to like Bucky. Months passed and the pair talked every day. Steve discovered that Bucky wasn't homophobic, but he was in fact bisexual. To make things better, Bucky's birthday was coming up, so Steve was planning a brilliant surprise. If everything went well, he would also ask Bucky to be his boyfriend. It was something they'd joked about a little, because Bucky liked it when Steve held his metal hand. It stopped him from feeling so ashamed of it. Steve had joked that some people would think they were dating. Soon, if everything went according to plan, they'd be boyfriends for real.

March 10th rolled around a few weeks later, and Bucky had no real plans to celebrate his birthday. At least, he didn't until Steve turned up at his door and practically dragged him to his car. Steve insisted that Bucky wore a blindfold, although he hated the idea. Steve said that if he didn't, it would ruin the surprise. Eventually, Bucky stopped complaining and wore the blindfold with minimal complaints. They drove for around half an hour before Bucky heard the car engine stop. Steve got out and helped Bucky out in turn, still without removing the blindfold.  
"Please, Stevie," Bucky whined. "We're there, why do I still have to wear this dumb thing?"  
"Because we're not quite there yet and I really don't want to ruin the surprise. Just humour me, okay?" Steve pouted. Bucky couldn't see the pout, but he could certainly hear it. It made him weak at the knees. He complained a bit more, but allowed Steve to lead him to wherever they were going. After another few minutes of walking and a lot more complaining from Bucky, Steve stopped walking and finally removed the blindfold from Bucky's eyes.

"Do you like it?" Steve asked, suddenly nervous.  
"Like it? I love it!" Bucky cried. "It's the place from the painting!"  
"I felt bad for being unable to buy you the painting and I knew I'd never be able to paint another just like it. So I thought that maybe seeing the place in real life might be good enough for you," Steve explained, as a blush rose to tint his cheeks.  
"It's beautiful, Stevie. It really is," Bucky smiled.  
"I also bought you the painting," Steve confessed. "The gallery owner, Sam is taking it over to your apartment as we speak."  
"How?" Bucky asked.  
"I knew I'd never be able to paint another picture exactly like the one you loved, so I painted one as close to the original as I could. I exchanged the new one for the old one, so one's still in the gallery and the other's in your apartment," Steve explained. Bucky's face lit up when Steve told him. Without any warning whatsoever, he launched himself at Steve, wrapping his arms around his best friends neck.  
"You're the best, Stevie. I love you so much," Bucky confessed, before realising what he'd said. "I didn't mean...not like that...you're just a great friend...I know you like Sharon from the coffee shop. I don't know what came over me, I really don't."  
"I love you too, Buck. Now shut up, get your ass over here and kiss me!" Steve demanded.  
"You're a punk," Bucky said, before gently kissing Steve. He wasn't sure what to expect, but he certainly didn't expect that. He felt the fireworks and the butterflies that people in books and films talk about when they kiss their true love. He felt like he could fly.  
"You're a jerk," Steve replied with a smile, feeling as giddy as a schoolgirl with a crush.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> INSPIRATION FOR STEVE'S PAINTING  
> https://goo.gl/images/PBxxww
> 
> INSPIRATION FOR STEVE'S SKETCH OF BUCKY  
> https://goo.gl/images/pHs4fJ
> 
> INSPIRATION FOR STEVE'S SKETCH OF THE WINTER SOLDER  
> https://goo.gl/images/QRupmz


	12. Houston, I Have So Many Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Royalty AU  
> Sleeping Beauty AU (ish) you'll see what I mean  
> Mostly fluff with a teeny bit of angst

"Listen to me!" Steve shouted. He hated his job as the Royal Advisor, mostly because it meant he had to deal with the reckless Prince.  
"Why should I?" Bucky taunted. He loved being a Prince, but he hated the responsibility and the rules that came with it.  
"Because your life is in danger!" Steve yelled. Bucky quietened down, so Steve assumed it was permission for him to keep talking. "A witch cursed you as a baby. The curse says you'll die on your twenty-first birthday, and there's nothing we can do about it."  
"I have to die on that day?" Bucky asked.  
"Yes, that's part of the curse," Steve replied.  
"So, until then I'm basically immortal. I'm gonna go practise dark magic or learn to swordfight or throw knives! Catch you later!" Bucky called, before running off. Steve wished that the Prince was older and more responsible, instead of being sixteen with terrible impulse control. Steve was only eighteen himself, but after running around after the Prince for four years, he was beginning to feel a lot older. He was also beginning to feel less like a Royal Advisor and more like a Royal Babysitter.

"Prince James!" Steve called out.  
"I told you not to call me that," Bucky snapped.  
"I'm sorry. Bucky," Steve said. "I think we should talk."  
"I don't want to talk to you," Bucky replied. "I'm busy."  
"I'm just worried about you. You're spending less time outside; you're spending more time in your room and you've become more and more reckless. You seem...depressed."  
"It's called being a moody teenager," Bucky snapped. "Okay, that was harsh. Maybe you're right. I don't know what's wrong with me."  
"I think you're lonely. I think you need a friend, someone around your own age," Steve suggested.  
"There's nobody my age in the castle," Bucky mumbled. "Believe me, I've looked."  
"Excuse you!" Steve said, offended.  
"You're like...in your twenties. At least," Bucky replied. "No offence."  
"I'm eighteen and none taken. I just thought that maybe we could be friends again, like we used to be," Steve said.  
"We used to be friends?" Bucky asked, shocked.  
"You probably don't remember. When you were a baby, I was your playmate. We were friends, but you got too old to need a playmate and I got too old to be one. You begged your father to let me stay, though. So, here I am. The Royal Advisor," Steve explained.  
"I'd like it if we were friends," Bucky said.  
"I'd like it too. It would also make my job a lot easier if I didn't have to chase you around all the time," Steve joked.  
"That's something that will never change," Bucky laughed, before running off again. "Keep up old man!"

Steve and Bucky became very close friends incredibly quickly. It wasn't hard to notice the change in Bucky's demeanour. He smiled a lot more, became nicer to the staff and went outside regularly. He didn't become any less reckless, but Steve was always by his side, making sure he didn't do anything too stupid. The pair were practically inseparable. Barely a day went by when they weren't chasing each other round the castle and the grounds. Some things never did change. Everybody noticed how much happier Bucky was when Steve was around, some of the servants even thought that the Prince was gay and secretly dating his Royal Advisor. He wasn't, but that didn't stop the gossip.

Years passed, and Bucky and Steve only became closer. Steve had stood by Bucky's side, holding his hand when Bucky came out as gay to his father. Bucky had comforted Steve for a week after Steve's mother died. When Bucky was seventeen, Steve realised he had a crush on Bucky. He never did anything about it, in the hopes that it would just go away eventually. It didn't. When Bucky was eighteen, Steve realised he might be in love with Bucky. By the time Bucky was nineteen, Steve had fallen head over heels in love with Bucky. He knew they could never be together; Bucky didn't love him. Bucky was a Prince and Steve was a commoner, they would never be able to be together. Besides, Bucky needed to marry a Prince in order to bind two kingdoms together. Steve could never be with Bucky, and it killed him.

Bucky was twenty, and his twenty-first birthday was mere weeks away. Steve was beginning to panic. He couldn't bear the thought of Bucky dying. He simply couldn't let it happen. He didn't know if there was anything he could do but he refused to let the man he loved die at the hands of some witch's curse. He was desperate to save Bucky; Steve would do anything to save him. He would even sacrifice himself. That was it! Steve knew what he was going to do. He was going to find the witch and offer his own life to save Bucky's. Steve ran off to the library to find out as much about the witch as possible. He knew she lived in the forest and that it was at least a weeks ride. Steve thought he could make it before Bucky's birthday, before the curse struck. He left Bucky a note saying he would be gone for a while, but not telling him where he was going or what he was doing. Steve then saddled up his horse and rode off into the forest, praying he wouldn't get lost.

Steve rode for over a week, lost in the depths of the forest. He hoped that the witch's cottage was nearby, as he was tired and had no idea where he was. Just when Steve was about to lose hope, he saw a cottage in the middle of a clearing. It had to be the witch's cottage; it simply had to be! Steve dismounted his horse and knocked on the cottage door.  
"Who is it?" a sweet voice called from inside.  
"My name is Steve Rogers. I believe you cursed a friend of mine," Steve replied.  
"You'll have to be more specific, dear. I've cursed many people in my time," the voice said.  
"Prince James," Steve answered.  
"Ah, yes. He should die before the month is out," the voice called.  
"I'm here to bargain. My life for his!" Steve yelled.  
"That's hardly necessary. Besides I can't remove the curse! But I can change it," the witch smiled.  
"Will you do it?" Steve asked, hopeful.  
"Why should I?" the witch asked in return.  
"He's my friend. I love him," Steve admitted.  
"You love him, huh?" the witch repeated. "Guess I can do a little tinkering. He won't die, but he will fall into a deep sleep. He can only be awoken by the person he loves the most."  
"Thank you, ma'am," Steve said.  
"Be warned, the person he loves the most may not be the person you think it is," the witch said, before vanishing completely.

Steve rode for another week before he made it back to the castle. He made it back on Bucky's birthday. He raced towards Bucky's room, hoping he would have time to tell him not to be scared, that everything would be okay. He needed to tell Bucky that he wasn't really going to die. By the time he made it to Bucky's room, it was too late. The King was kneeled beside Bucky's bed, sobbing over his son's body.  
"I'm so sorry, son. I tried to protect you, but I failed. I miss you, and I love you!" the King sobbed, clutching Bucky's body.  
"He's not dead, Your Majesty. Bucky's not dead," Steve said from the doorway.  
"But the curse?" the King said.  
"I found the witch and she manipulated the curse. He's just sleeping. He can only be awoken by the person he loves the most," Steve explained. "He'll be fine."  
"I'll stay with him tonight. If I can't wake him, then we'll try his crush and his friends," the King said. "I can tell you love him very much. I hope you are the one that wakes him."  
"I'd rather not try, unless it's absolutely necessary. If he didn't wake up...it would hurt too much. I wouldn't be able to do it," Steve explained.  
"I understand. I still hope you will be the one to wake him," the King said.  
"Thank you, all the same, Your Majesty," Steve replied, with a small bow.  
"No, thank you. You risked your life to save my son. He's only alive because of you and I'll never be able to thank you enough. I give you my blessing to marry my son when he wakes, I hope that is enough to show my gratitude. Now go sleep, I'll stay with him tonight," the King said.

The King was unable to wake the Prince from his enchanted slumber, neither was the servant boy that Bucky thought was cute, nor any of his friends. The king had begged Steve multiple times to try and wake the Prince, but every time Steve had refused. He lay in his bed one night, and began to dream. He dreamt that Bucky died due to the witch's curse and Steve woke up in an instant. He rushed into Bucky's room and practically threw himself on the sleeping Prince, just to make sure that he was still alive. Even though Steve knew that Bucky was alive, he didn't want to move. He'd missed Bucky tremendously, so he simply lay there next to Bucky, resting his head on the chest of the boy he loved. Steve glanced up at Bucky and noticed how peaceful he looked sleeping, even if he was cursed. Steve hoped he was dreaming, and that they were pleasant dreams. Knowing that he might never get the chance to do it again, Steve leaned in and softly placed his lips against Bucky's. He finally felt complete, but he still couldn't leave.

"I love you, Buck," Steve whispered. "I've loved you for four years, and I'm sorry I was too scared to tell you until now. I'm still scared, but I'm scared you could die. I've missed you so much, and I love you more than anything. Please don't leave me, not yet. You're not allowed to die until I've told you properly how much I love you. You mean the world to me, Buck, you really do. I want you to wake up so that I can hug you and kiss you and ask you to be my boyfriend. I hope you'll say yes. One day, I'm going to ask you to marry me. Your father has already given me his blessing, I didn't even ask for it. I'm going to propose to you with the most beautiful ring you've ever seen. We're going to have a wonderful wedding, and then after that we're gonna have kids. They're gonna be perfect, we're gonna be perfect, we're gonna be happy. You're not allowed to die before we get out future, Buck!" Steve's voice cracked as he thought about the possibility that Bucky might die before he even gets a chance to tell him how much he loves him.  
"Stevie?" Bucky asked. "What happened? Am I dead? Is this heaven?"  
"No, Buck. You're not dead," Steve whispered.  
"How? The curse!" Bucky said.  
"The witch changed the curse a little. You wouldn't die, you'd just sleep. You'd only be woken up by the person you love the most. That means you...you love me, Buck," Steve explained, shocked.  
"I heard everything you said. I'd love to be your boyfriend, and one day, I'd love to marry you. I've been in love with you ever since I was sixteen. I love you even more knowing you saved my life," Bucky said.  
"I'm sorry I had to leave you," Steve said, suddenly serious. "I had to, I hope you know that. I had to save you."  
"I was so scared! I thought I was going to die, Stevie and you weren't there! I kept hoping you'd come back so I could tell you how much I loved you!" Bucky sobbed.  
"I'm sorry, Buck. I'm so, so sorry," Steve whispered, a tear running down his cheek.  
"You saved me, Stevie. You've got nothing to be sorry for," Bucky said with a smile.  
"I really do love you more than anything," Steve whispered.  
"Does that mean you'll kiss me properly?" Bucky asked with a smirk.  
"If you're nice," Steve replied, before leaning in to press his lips against his boyfriends. Steve finally found where he belonged, in Bucky's arms with Bucky's lips pressed against his. He felt like he was home. Without warning, Bucky bit Steve's lip.  
"What was that for?" Steve asked.  
"I've been wanting to do that for years, give me a break," Bucky argued, before kissing his boyfriend once more.


	13. One More Night...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bucky have a one night stand...or two...or three...  
> SMUT  
> Porn with plot

Bucky woke up next to a stranger. He was a beautiful stranger, hair as golden as sand and skin as soft as silk. Bucky tried remembering his name, but he wasn't sure if they'd even mentioned names. The alcohol blurred Bucky's memories of the night before, but he remembered the pleasure. The blonde man had been good, he knew all the sensitive spots of Bucky's body. He knew exactly where to kiss, where to touch to make Bucky moan. And oh, how Bucky had moaned. The sweet sound of pure pleasure escaping his lips. He vaguely remembered the sounds that his partner had made, the sounds that drove Bucky over the edge. Bucky desperately wanted a repeat of the night before, but he had a rule. He never stayed after a one night stand. He pulled his clothes on and scribbled his phone number on a scrap piece of paper. He labeled it "for emergencies" and left before his magical partner from the previous night stirred.

A few days later, Bucky received a text. It was from someone called Steve, apparently the man Bucky had slept with a few nights before. Bucky wanted to recreate the experience, otherwise he wouldn't have left Steve his number. Steve's booty call counted as an emergency in Bucky's eyes, so agreed to meet the blonde that night. This time, however, Bucky wanted to be completely sober so he remembered every little detail of the man who made him moan. He wanted to remember the way his body ached when Steve touched him and the way Steve sounded when Bucky sucked on Steve's sweet spots. He needed to be with Steve again, to feel all the things he felt that night when he was too drunk to remember them. Feeling the strain in his pants, Bucky left to meet with the man who danced through his dreams.

The moment Bucky saw Steve, he wanted to drag him to bed. Luckily, Steve felt the same way and it wasn't long before both of them had their clothes thrown on the floor. Steve knew Bucky's body as if they'd been together for years instead of only one night. Bucky knew his night with Steve had been magical and that it would be again. He spent no time getting to know Steve's body the way Steve knew his. Bucky's hands roamed along the defined muscles of Steve's body. His forefinger and thumb gently pinched one of Steve's nipples. The sound that seeped out of Steve's lips took Bucky's breath away. The sound of Steve moaning was one that Bucky would treasure forever. Bucky curled his fingers into Steve's golden locks and pulled as Steve palmed Bucky's erection over his boxers. Within seconds, Bucky had flipped the pair over and he had full control of Steve's body.

Bucky released Steve's erection from his underwear and instantly began kissing the tip. He gave the slit a few kitten licks, appreciating the salty precum on his tongue. Steve grabbed Bucky's hair and began fucking his face. Bucky almost gagged as the tip of Steve's dick hit the back of his throat with more force than it should. He took a few minutes to get over the feeling of having such a huge dick in his mouth, but after that, Bucky began to enjoy himself. Bucky sucked Steve's dick as if his life depended on it. He wanted Steve to see stars by the time he was finished. Steve moaned and gasped as Bucky buried his nose in the small patch of curls above Steve's dick and massaged Steve's balls with his tongue.  
"I'm close!" Steve moaned. "I'm so close! Bucky, I'm gonna..." Without any further warning, Steve began to cum. He pumped steady streams of salty cum into Bucky's welcoming mouth as he shuddered. Bucky swallowed it greedily, as if begging for more, before removing his mouth from Steve's dick with a satisfying pop. 

Steve shoved his lips forcefully onto Bucky's the second the dizziness stopped. His orgasm had blown his mind; Bucky was practically the king of deepthroating, and Steve loved it. Now it was time for him to return the favour.  
"On your back, spread your legs," Steve commanded. Bucky obeyed instantly, wanting Steve to dominate him in every way. Luckily, Steve's refractory period was practically non-existent, so Steve's dick was already hard again. Steve wasted no time in prepping Bucky. He drove his tongue into Bucky's tight hole, thrusting in and out, as well as licking around his asshole. Bucky writhed and moaned beneath Steve, begging for more, and Steve was more than happy to give it. He slid his first finger into Bucky's tight asshole. Bucky felt so good around him, and it wasn't long before the brunette was begging for more. Steve obliged, and shoved a second finger inside Bucky to join the first. He thrusted in and out of Bucky, angling his fingers ever so slightly until he heard Bucky moan. Steve squeezed a third finger in and began massaging Bucky's prostate. Bucky began to moan like a bitch in heat. Steve thought he'd never heard a sound as hot as the sound of Bucky whining and screaming as Steve abused his prostate.  
"More, more, more!" Bucky screamed. "I need more! Give it to me, please! I need..."

Steve pulled his fingers out of the brunette and began lubing up his dick before lining himself up with Bucky's hole. He slowly entered Bucky, stopping if Bucky ever looked like he was in pain. It took a few moments before Steve was fully inside of Bucky, and even then he had to wait before Bucky was okay for him to move. Steve began gently thrusting in and out of Bucky, wanting to make him feel good. It didn't take Steve long to find Bucky's prostate, and he soon started angling his thrusts so he hit Bucky's prostate each time.  
"Harder, faster, please Steve!" Bucky moaned. Steve didn't reply, but he instantly began thrusting into Bucky faster and harder. He reached down to stroke Bucky's neglected cock as it throbbed against the brunette's stomach. Steve continued to thrust into Bucky, pumping his fist in time with his thrusts, until Bucky was crying from overstimulation.   
"Steve, please!" Bucky begged. "I need to cum, please let me cum!" The sound of Bucky begging was enough to send him over the edge and the began to cum inside of Bucky. The feeling of Steve's cum coating his insides brought Bucky over the edge as well. Both boys rode out their orgasms as they cried out each others names. When they were done, they put their clothes back on and Bucky left.

Bucky had never expected to see Steve again after their wonderful night together. He definitely didn't expect to see Steve at a bar less than ten minutes away from his apartment mere weeks after they'd fucked. The pair greeted each other, and chatted for a while over drinks. Eventually, Steve went off to dance, while Bucky stayed by the bar to drink. By the end of the night, they were both completely hammered. When Bucky suggested that they should go back to his apartment, Steve was too drunk to refuse. When Bucky woke up the next morning with a pounding headache and Steve in his bed, he assumed something had happened that night. His suspicions were confirmed when he noticed their clothes tangled in a heap on the floor. He also noticed the used condom lying next to their clothes, and stains that resembled cum on his bedding. Bucky didn't regret sleeping with Steve again, in fact he rather enjoyed spending time with the blonde, both in and out of bed. Bucky's only regret was that he wasn't sober enough to remember any of it.

Bucky didn't hear from Steve for a long time after that, but Bucky dreamed of them being together again. Bucky dreamed of being able to kiss Steve and to touch him and to make him moan again. Sometimes, Bucky would even swear he felt Steve's hands tracing his body or Steve's lips kissing his own. For a while, Bucky told himself it was only about the sex. He swore he didn't want a relationship, and that he wasn't falling in love with Steve. He only wanted Steve's body. Eventually, it wasn't just the sex that Bucky realised he wanted. He missed Steve, all of Steve. He missed Steve's eyes that shone in the light and Steve's smile that could light up an entire room. Bucky missed Steve's laugh that made his heart melt, and Steve's arms that made him feel safe when they cuddled. Bucky began to realise that he was slowly falling in love with Steve.

After four months of Bucky pining for Steve, he decided to call the blonde.  
"Hey, Steve," Bucky said.  
"Hey, what's up? I'm like half an hour away, but if your dick can wait a while, I'll be there as soon as I can!" Steve joked.  
"That's not why I'm calling," Bucky said, feeling his heart race. He hadn't realised how nervous he was until then.  
"This isn't a booty call?" Steve asked in disbelief.  
"No. There's something I need to tell you, but it's probably best we do it face to face," Bucky said.  
"Maybe we could grab a coffee? There's that new place on 87th?" Steve suggested.  
"Sure, be there in fifteen," Bucky replied before hanging up. He took a few deep breaths to try and calm down and stop his hands from shaking. He was truly terrified. He knew Steve was gay, but what if he didn't like Bucky? What if he only saw Bucky as an easy fuck and nothing more? He didn't want Steve to hate him for having feelings for him. Bucky knew he had to face his fear and tell Steve how he felt, so he left to talk to Steve.

"Hey, you look a little nervous. Are you okay?" Steve asked when he saw Bucky.  
"I'm fine. There's just something I need to tell you," Bucky said.  
"Go ahead," Steve encouraged.  
"I like you, Steve," Bucky said. "I really like you. I know you might not feel the same way, but it wasn't just about the sex for me. I think I'm falling for you.If you don't feel the same way then we can still fuck or we could just be friends. I just needed to tell you, so I didn't feel like I was hiding something."  
"I haven't been able to stop thinking about since the first time we slept together," Steve admitted. "I think I'm falling for you too."  
"I was so scared you'd hate me! I'm so glad you feel the same way!" Bucky exclaimed.  
"I don't think I could ever hate you," Steve said, before gently kissing Bucky's lips. Bucky kissed back, carefully slipping his tongue inside Steve's mouth. As it generally did when the two were together, the kiss led to mind-blowing sex. Luckily, neither Steve nor Bucky had to run away the following morning.


	14. I Love You Like I Lose You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Universe Alteration:  
> In which Bucky never becomes the Winter Soldier  
> Plenty of angst, with a happy ending

"I miss you, Buck. Ever since you died, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you. There's something I need to tell you, something I should've told you years ago, before you enlisted. One night you told me you loved me. You explained you didn't mean it in a friendly way or a brotherly way. You said you loved me more than you'd ever love any of the dames you danced with. You claimed you only danced with them because you couldn't dance with me. I just blushed, but I should've told you that I love you too. I've always loved you, Buck. That's why I never danced with the dames, because they'd never be as good as you. I should've told you I loved you when I rescued you from HYDRA, or when you asked me if I was sweet on anyone. I should've told you I loved you every single day, but it's too late. I desperately wish youknew how much you mean to me, you're my whole world, Buck and I feel hopelessly lost without you.  
  
 _"I love you too;  you know that. I know how much I mean to you, even before I told you I loved you. I always knew I was important to you. It didn't take a genius to figure that out. You always were oblivious, but I guess you're more oblivious than I thought if you thought I didn't know how much I meant to you. God, you're an idiot._ _But you're my idiot and I wouldn't have it any other way._  
  
"I wish you were still alive. So many amazing things have happened, Buck! You'd love it! Movies are in colour, and some of them pop out of the screen! You can find out anything using something called the Internet! I don't really understand it, but my friends are helping me. Gay people, people like us, we can get married! Imagine that, Buck. We'd be able to get married and adopt disadvantaged kids. It's what you always wanted, and you would've been able to have it...if I hadn't let you fall. It's all my fault, Buck. I'm the reason you're dead. I should've caught you. I'm the notorious Captain America for god's sake! I should've been able to save you! How can they expect me to save thousands of people when I can't even save my own best friend?! I'm a terrible failure. I wish I'd died instead of you. It should've been me...  
  
 _" It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anybody's fault. Accidents happen, and there's nothing you can do about it. You're not a failure, don't you dare say that! And don't you dare wish you'd died. I'm glad you're alive, and there are so many other people who are glad you're alive as well._ _I'm proud of you, more proud than you'll ever know._  
  
"You don't want to hear my self-pity. I'll tell you about my friends, you'd like them a lot. Let's start with Natasha. She's small and feisty, but she can sure pack a punch. Everyone's terrified of her, so nobody dares piss her off. She's a good friend though, and will always have your back. She always knows how to make all your problems seem tiny, even when you feel like you're drowning in them. You'd like her; I know you would. She'd be able to put you on your ass in seconds, but don't feel bad about it. She can put me on my ass too. She's always the first person to aggressively fight anyone who upsets you. She's loyal and that's why we all love her. She's also a master assassin; she can kill a guy twice her size with her bare hands.  
  
 _" I think I'd like her a lot. She sounds like a great gal. I want to meet her one day, maybe one day soon._ _I just hope she won't try to brutally kill me._  
  
"I don't think you'd like Tony. He's Howard's rebellious son. He's nice enough, but he can be a bit self-centred. He's very sarcastic, but he's given us all a place to live and we all work well with him. He's great if you want to have a laugh or if you desperately need someone to get drunk with. He's also really understanding. I talked to him once about my nightmares, and he completely understood. He gets them too. He acts like he doesn't care about us that much, but secretly he does. He works hard to make sure we're all safe. He's hidden in his workshop for days after one of us got injured, making sure that it would never happen again. He cares about everyone, sometimes a little too much. He's always protective of the younger ones, and if someone hurts you...let's just say Nat has to hold him back sometimes. He designs all our superhero outfits and he flies round in a metal suit. The public all calls him Iron Man, but we call him a dickhead.  
 _  
" He sounds like a nice guy. Sounds like he takes after Howard a little. I'll probably not like him at first, but like Howard, I could probably grow to love him._ _None of us could stand Howard the first time we met him, Tony sounds a bit like that._  
  
"Sam's a chill dude. He's like the younger brother I never had. He teases me a lot, but I tease him too. He's really loyal and is hilarious. If you ever need anything, he'll be there for you. He's that kind of guy. He'd probably take the piss out of you, but he'd only be joking. He's really helped me adjust to the 21st century, he's recommended a bunch of films and music. You'd like many modern films, they're actually really funny. He'd annoy you a lot at first, but eventually you miss him when he's not around. You realise that you actually like the dick. His superhero suit has wings, so he flies around us a lot. His wings are the only thing that make him faster than me. He also has a drone named Redwing. He desperately tries to get us to like it, but we've not quite got there yet.  
  
 _" He sounds great. I've always wanted a younger brother. Maybe if I met him, I'd finally be able to have one._ _Although if he flies erratically around me in circles, I'm gonna rip his damn wings apart._  
  
"Thor's a big softie. He's not around much, but he's always great fun when he is around. He reminds us all of a golden retriever puppy, he's so bouncy and exciteable. He never judges anyone for anything and if you ever need anything, he's right there. He gets really protective of his friends, and everyone knows he loves us. He's a Prince of Asgard (that's the planet he's from) so he's a gentleman. He's given us all a lot of support and he always makes the newcomers feel welcome. He's the first person anyone ever makes friends with, usually because he bounds up to them and introduces himself before anyone can get the chance. We all love him, though. He's kinda like our older brother who looks out for us. He's also the God of Thunder, which comes in handy in a vicious fight. He'd make you feel at home; you'd love him. You'd probably think he's cute too.  
  
 _"I think most people are cute, so it's not impossible. It sounds like he's a ray of sunshine, and you know I've always had a soft spot for blondes. And a God too, huh?_ _How godly is he in bed, do you think?_  
  
"Bruce is a really nice guy. He's fairly shy and is a member of Tony's Science Squad. He doesn't talk much, unless it's about sciencey stuff. You'd probably talk nerd to him for hours; you'd finally have another nerdy friend, Buck. He's helped all of us a lot, though. He gives us all tips on how to manage our negative emotions, whether that be raw anger, fear, overwhelming sadness or personal grief. He's good at it. He has to be really, considering he can turn into a giant green monster when he's angry. Besides the whole Hulk thing, he's a really chill guy. Everyone thinks he smokes weed, but nobody can prove it. Sam says it's the only way someone can stay that calm all the damn time.   
  
 _"If he's smoking anything, he sorely needs to learn how to share! But a Science Squad? Could I join the Science Squad? I think maybe I could._ _ It'd be nice to get overly excited about science with someone, you never did care for it all that much._  
  
"I'm not really sure how to describe Clint. He's unique. Half the time, he acts like a five year old and the rest of the time he acts like he's our dad. He's a great friend, though. Everyone is. You can talk to Clint about anything, and he can always crack me up. He's a bit like Tony, cause he's always down to get drunk with you if you need a drinking buddy. He has amazing taste in music...and fashion. He's like the RuPaul of the Avengers. If you don't look sharp, he'll drag you to his room and dress you himself. Trust me, if that ever happens, you're guaranteed to walk out of that room looking ten times better than when you went in. He's engaged in a huge prank war with Nat; it's hilarious! He's another assassin, but he's an expert archer so he kills people with a bow and arrow. He's kinda like cupid, but he doesn't make people fall in love. He might be able to make you fall in love though, Buck. It's not hard, is it? If I can do it, anyone can.  
  
 _"I only ever loved you;  you know that. Maybe I'd be able to rival him in the fashion department, though._ _ I always knew how to look fabulous!_  
  
"Wanda's the youngest member, but she's great fun to be around. She's always coming up with jokes and dares. She always makes sure everyone feels included in the group, and if you feel left out, she's there for you. She's another fashionista, so if you ever need clothes advice, she's your gal. She tries to style my hair a lot, but you know how uncooperative my hair is. She's never been able to tame it yet, but she's still trying. She can move things with her mind but waving her hand. It's pretty cool, if a little bit weird. You'd like her, Buck. You two would sit up all night talking about boys while you braided her hair.  
  
 _"I'd like that a lot, maybe she could braid my hair too. It's so much longer now._ _I'd spend hours talking about you to her._  
  
"They're like one big family. But it always feels like there's a piece missing. We need an extra person to complete the family. We need you, Buck. I need you. I don't know what to do without you. I wish you were still here. I wish I could turn around right now and you'd be right behind me. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you exactly how much I love you. I wish I could hold you and never let go. If you were here, Buck, I solemnly promise I'd never let you go ever again. I wish you were here. If I had one wish right now, I'd wish for you. I'd wish we could love each other the way you wanted to and the way I want to. I wish I could kiss you and hug you and love you until the end of time," Steve rambled at the stone sculpture commemorating the lives lost in the Second World War. He ran his fingers along Bucky's name, desperately wishing he could turn back time.  
  
 _"Who_ says you can't?"  
  
"Bucky?" Steve gasped.  
  
"It's me, Stevie. I'm sorry I had to hide from you for so long. I thought you might've moved on, but I couldn't hide from you after hearing some of the things you said. Nothing that happened that day was your fault, I promise. I still love you just as much as I did the day I fell from the train. I think I'd like your friends a lot, I'd love to meet them. I've missed you, Stevie," Bucky said with a roguish smile.  
  
"How are you alive? I don't understand!" Steve exclaimed.  
  
"When I fell from the train, I survived. I lost my arm, but I survived. The brutal cold of the ice kept me alive, I guess. Or maybe it was the serum I was given during the war. I don't know. I emerged from the ice a little before you did. I had to hide, though. I assumed you'd forgotten about me or that you'd moved on. I didn't realise how much you still cared about me. I'm sorry for not finding you sooner. I adore you, Stevie. I always have and always will. I'm so sorry for leaving you alone for all these years, I hope you can forgive me," Bucky whispered, tears shining in his sorrowful eyes.  
  
"Of course I can, Buck! I thought you were dead! I've never been happier to see you! I love you more than anything," Steve said, wiping away Bucky's tears with his thumb.  
  
"I love you too, Stevie. I'll never leave you again. I promise," Bucky said, before leaning down to kiss his long-lost lover.


	15. When The Darkness Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song fic  
> Based off When The Darkness Comes by Colbie Caillat  
> LOTS OF ANGST

**Underneath the echoes  
Buried in the shadows  
There you were  
Drawn into your mystery  
I was just beginning  
To see your ghost  
** **But you must** **know**  
  
Steve couldn't believe it was real. He refused to believe it. He'd finally found love, and he just let it go as if it meant nothing to him. Bucky was his world; he meant everything to Steve. Now he was gone. Steve couldn't even remember what they'd fought about. He knew it started out as something small, and it just grew. Suddenly, Steve was shouting, and Bucky was threatening to leave. Then Bucky just left. He told Steve he never wanted to see him again, that he was going to change his number and the lock on his door. It broke Steve's heart. He could feel the pain ripping through him. It hurt more than anything he'd ever experienced in his life. It hurt more than the serum, it hurt more than crashing into the ice, it hurt more than anything. Steve wanted nothing more than to run after Bucky and apologise for everything he'd said, everything he'd done, but his legs refused to move. The only thing he could do was lie on the floor, clutching the shirt he'd borrowed from Bucky, and sob until he had no tears left to cry. The worst part was that heknewhebrokeBucky's heart too. Bucky had been through so much, he didn't deserve that pain. He'd pulled Steve out of a really dark time, and he'd had trusted Steve. He was beginning to open up about his past, and Steve destroyed him. God, it hurt Steve more than anything.  
  
 **I'll be here waiting  
Hoping, praying  
That this light   
Will guide you home  
When you're feeling lost  
I'll leave my love  
Hidden in the sun  
** **For when the darkness ** **comes**  
  
Steve knew that Bucky didn't want him back. He'd made that perfectly clear when he left, he said he never wanted to see Steve ever again. Steve still refused to give up. He hoped that maybe Bucky would turn around, come back, let Steve love him again. He didn't know if Bucky still loved him, but he knew he still loved Bucky. He prayed that Bucky would change his mind and come home. Steve would do anything to bring the love of his life back, absolutely anything. He just hoped Bucky wouldn't slip back into the darkness, that his friends would help him now that Steve couldn't. He hoped that Bucky would be okay, that he wouldn't start hurting himself again. Steve would've given Bucky the sun if he could. Bucky hadn't even been gone for an hour, but to Steve it felt like Bucky had been gone for a lifetime. Steve missed him so much it hurt. He couldn't do anything but hope that Bucky would come back. He needed Bucky so much, he loved him with every fibre of his being and he didn't know how to live without him. Steve prayed something would bring Bucky back to him. Maybe Bucky would come back for his shirt. Maybe Bucky's friends would make him go back. Maybe he'd just know that Steve needed him and he'd come back. Steve just hoped something would guide Bucky back home. He loved Bucky, and he needed Bucky to know that. He needed Bucky to know he wasn't alone, that Steve would always be there for him, that Steve would always love him.  
  
 **Now  the door is open  
The world I knew is broken  
There's no return  
Now my heart is not scared  
Just knowing that you're out there  
Watching me  
** **So  ** **believe**  
  
Steve looked up at the door, still open after Bucky left, hoping that he'd see Bucky come running back to him. Everything felt different without Bucky by his side. He used to be able to see the beauty in everything, but now everything looked broken. Steve felt broken, too. He could only imagine how Bucky must feel. Steve began to think that maybe Bucky wasn't going to come back. Maybe Bucky had left for good, and was never going to come home. Maybe Bucky didn't want Steve to love him anymore. That hurt Steve more than Bucky leaving. He needed his Bucky. Steve was scared that Bucky had stoppedlovinghim, but at least he knew that Bucky was safe (ish). Steve could get Natasha to keep tabs on him; Steve could tail him when he wasn't working, they could make sure he was safe. At least Bucky was still alive. Maybe Steve could even work his way up to talking to Bucky again. Steve mentally slapped himself. Bucky had left an hour and a half ago, not three years ago! Bucky had said that he was goingto change his number, but Steve doubted he would've had time yet, especially considering that it was nearing 3 am. Steve decided to try and call Bucky. If Bucky picked up, he'd beg for forgiveness and ask him to come home. If he didn't...Steve decided he'd cross that bridge when he came to it. The phone didn't even ring when Steve dialled Bucky's number. Bucky had blocked him; he knew it. Steve tried, but he just couldn't hold back the tears that welled in his eyes.  
  
 **I'll be here waiting  
Hoping, praying  
That this light  
Will guide you home  
When you're feeling lost  
I'll leave my love  
Hidden in the sun  
For when the darkness comes  
** **For when the darkness ** **comes**  
  
Tears rolled down Steve's face as he sobbed. He knew that if any of the others walked by his room, they'd be able to hear him, but he didn't care. He screamed Bucky's name, begging for him to come back. He wanted Bucky; he needed Bucky. Steve felt lost without Bucky to guide him. He always thought that it wasBucky who needed him, but he didn't realise how much he needed Bucky until he wasn't there anymore. He hoped that Bucky would change his mind, that they could fix things in the future, but Steve knew that Bucky was stubborn. He probably wouldn't change his mind anytime soon. Steve's world felt so dark without Bucky, he needed Bucky to be his light. Steve prayed that Bucky still loved him, that he was just angry. He hoped that he hadn't lost his Bucky forever. Steve would wait for Bucky, no matter how long it took. He would wait for Bucky until the end of time if he needed to. It wasn't the end of the line for them yet, it couldn't be! Steve loved Bucky more than anything. They'd only met a year ago, but for Steve it was love at first sight. He desperately needed Bucky to come home. He needed Bucky to know how sorry he was. Bucky needed to know how much Steve loved him.  
  
 **Be here waiting  
Hoping, praying  
That this light  
Will guide you home  
When you're feeling lost  
I'll leave my love  
Hidden in the sun  
** **For when the darkness ** **comes**  
  
Steve found himself standing outside Bucky's apartment. He couldn't remember leaving his room at Avengers Tower, but he must've done. Herealised his hands were shaking, and hetook a deep breath. He pulled out his phone to see how bad he looked. His eyes were bloodshot, so Bucky would definitely know he'd been crying. Steve rubbed his eyes to try and make it go away, but it only made it worse. His hair was a mess, and he generally just looked like shit. He gently knocked on the door and waited. It seemed like an eternity before Bucky opened the door. He looked almost as bad as Steve. His eyes were bloodshot and puffy, he'd definitely been crying. His knuckles were bruised as well, as if he'd punched a wall or something. He looked like he wanted to punch Steve, but instead he just sighed.  
"What do you want?" Bucky growled.  
"I want to apologise," Steve said, his voice little more than a whisper. "I know you don't want to hear it, but please just listen. I'm so sorry for everything I said. I didn't mean any of it; I swear. I was just angry. I wasn't even angry at you! I was angry at Stark, and I took it out on you. I can't apologise enough. I know you probably hate me now, since you blocked my number and everything. I'm surprised you even answered the door, to be honest. I just want you to know that I really do love you. I love you more than anything, and it hurt like hell when you left. I missed you more than anything, and I couldn't stop hoping that maybe you'd come back. I hoped that maybe, just maybe, you still loved me. I'm so sorry. Please come home." Steve's voice broke and he started to cry.  
  
 **Hidden  in the sun  
** **For when the darkness ** **comes**  
  
Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve and pulled him close. "I'm sorry too. It got out of hand. I should never have left. I shouldn't have even threatened to leave. I don't even know why I did it. I'm sorry for upsetting you so much. I could never hate you, Stevie. I love you too much to hate you. I'll never, ever, ever stop loving you. I was gonna come back tomorrow. I thought you'd be super mad at me, I didn't think you'd wanna see me. I regretted leaving as soon as I stepped out of the door. God, Stevie, I'm so sorry. I'll never do anything like that again, I promise. Now I'm gonna take you home, I'm gonna make pancakes, we're gonna cuddle all day, and I'm gonna spend the rest of the week making up for this. Don't cry, Stevie. I'm herenow, and IpromiseI'll never leave you again," Bucky whispered. He gently lifted Steve's chin and wiped his eyes, before leaning up to press a gentle kiss against Steve's lips.  
"I love you, Buck," Steve sighed.  
"I love you too, Stevie," Bucky replied.  
  



End file.
